Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Advice For Long Lasting Relationships
You know, like most of
us, I hate to see the people I love make mistakes and be
unhappy in
their relationships. This is particularly hard to watch when the
signs are so obviously there and the people I care about just refuse
to see them. That is one of the first pieces of advice for long
lasting relationship I would give: don't be afraid to see what is
wrong right from the start.
Whether we want to
believe, or admit it, most of the time we can clearly see what the
potential issues are going to be in a relationship after the first
few weeks or months. The problem is that most of us are in the early
stages of love and we don't want to see the warning signs... so we
don't.
We turn a blind eye to
the obvious problems. Then, over time, those problems become harder
and harder to ignore. We "pretend" like we were blindsided,
but
that is usually not the case.
The best advice for
long lasting relationship I can give is to be willing to see and
objectively consider the impact that these issues will have on your
relationship over time. That way, you can decide if you should end
things early on before you get in too deep and before there is a lot
of pain to either one of you.
Now one thing that I
need to point out is that all relationships, even the good ones, will
have their challenges. No one is saying that your relationship will
be or needs to be perfect.
What I am talking about
are those big issues that you know, if you would only admit it to
yourself, will cause a lot of pain, anger and frustration over the
long term. Ignoring these things will make your life a lot harder and
it is unnecessary.
Here are some of the
things I mean:
1. Honesty. If you
value honesty above all else and you start dating someone who isn't
hesitant about throwing out the "little white lie" on
occasion you know that over time that will drive you crazy. That is
not something you want to ignore. More than that someone who will
tell "white lies" will usually also be pretty adept at
telling much bigger and more harmful lies.
Lying isn't something
to be taken lightly. It's a lot more than just the lie itself it's
about honesty. Trusting your partner will play a huge role in any
good relationship. If you know they are prone to lying you will learn
to not trust them and then the relationship will unravel very
quickly.
2. Work ethic. If you
want a partner who will be an equal partner don't ignore the signs
early on that the new person in your life is lazy and content to
allow you to carry more of the weight, whether that weight is
emotional or the actual work that needs to be done around the house
or on the job.
You may be able to
convince yourself that this is "cute" in the beginning but
over time your resentment at having to carry so much of the load will
erode whatever feelings you have for your partner.
Don't ignore the
warning signs early on.
As you can see, this
list is not what you would call "exhaustive". It is just a
place to start. At the end of the day only you can decide which
traits you can live with and which ones will be deal breakers.
Don't expect anyone to
be perfect, they won't be, and neither are you. But, you can find
someone who really is "perfect" for you. By being realistic
on those traits you can live with and those things you can't, and
recognizing them early on, you can do more to ensure the longevity
and happiness of all your relationships.
You don't have to
settle and this advice for long lasting relationship will help you
focus on those things that really matter.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Advice Relationships - Tips And Advice On Relationships
There is a plethora of
advice on relationships, but some notable ones can be
found right
here. It is important to know some common mistakes couples make
during a relationship, some community resources you can go to for
some extra help, the benefits of family support, and how to talk to
each other more effectively.
1. One common mistake
in a relationship is when either you or your partner let your temper
get out of control.
This is especially bad
if children are present because the little ones are looking to you
two as role models on how to behave. Another mistake is not talking
or communicating with each other enough. Communication is very
important and without it, a relationship can drift farther apart.
Having an argument late
at night is a no-no in a relationship. Never go to bed angry with
each other. This is one of the best advice on relationships because
this is what makes them last. Lack of romance is a big mistake as
well. If either one or both of you are not very romantic, make it a
point to improve in that area. Ask your partner what his or her
fantasy is, and then surprise them with it one day.
2. Sometimes a great
relationship involves getting the advice of other trusted people.
Some great community
resources can help you avoid and get through problems. Have a
marriage counselor from your church or community center available a
phone call away. Also have a financial counselor available too. Money
issues tend to be a major factor in the health of a relationship, and
if you both nip that in the bud quickly, then there will be a lot
less to worry about.
3. Family support is
vitally important, even if they live far away.
Strive to be courteous
to your partner's family, and expect for your partner to be courteous
to yours. This is a good minimum standard for both of you to have for
each other, because when the time comes that both of you need some
support, they should be there for you at least to the extent you were
there for them.
4. Talking to each
other more effectively is important advice for relationships as well.
Know how your partner
talks, and more importantly how he or she listens. If you say
something and your partner reads or interprets it a certain way, talk
about that interpretation. Find out why they interpreted it that way
because you just may need to change the way you say things or they
may need to change the way they hear it.
This advice on
relationships just scratches the surface for what both of you need to
do in order to keep a thriving bond with each other.
Monday, February 3, 2014
A Divorce- Christians Also Go Through It
Divorce is something that thousands of
people face every day. This also includes Christians. The debate in
the Christian community over divorce is strong and diverse. Many
believe divorce is unacceptable as stated by the Lord. However many
others believe it is acceptable under certain circumstances.
In a divorce Christian faith can be
tested and it can be hard to know what to belief with so many
conflicting statements. However Christianity is all about faith, and
more contemporary Christians acknowledge that reality does not quite
go according to God's plan.
We, as Christian are the cause for that
as we so often go into marriage without seeking God's advice.
It is our duty as God's people to
try our best to live our lives as God would want.
1. God gave us a free will
Humans have free will and part of
having free will is making mistakes and adapting over time. If God
did not want us to evolve he would not have given us the ability to
do so. Even though God gave us free will out of love does not mean we
should not seek His advice.
2. Whether you simply grew apart or
because a betrayal was committed
Whether you simply grew apart or
because a betrayal was committed in your marriage, a divorce might
often prove to be the best option. A divorce Christian will suffer a
harder time during a divorce then others. Not only must they contend
with all the problems of a divorce, but also the test on their faith
as they know they are going against God's plan.
3. God for gives our sins
However we must remind ourselves that
God is all knowing, and forgiving of our sins. While He may not like
divorces, we know that he will understand and forgive if we confess
our sin as part of the marriage going wrong. As much as God may be
against divorces, He will understand that you cannot stay in an
abusive relationship.
Some Christians like to follow the
Bible to the letter, and use it as a shield and sword in the fight
over whether or not a divorce is acceptable.
As we progress and learn more about
ourselves and the universe God put us in, we also become more open to
new ideas and realizations. And one such realization is that God does
not want us to suffer needlessly, and as such He will forgive us for
not remaining in a relationship where we are unhappy and where even
the children suffer because of the unhappy marriage.
If you believe God wants you to remain
then by all means, stay and fix your relationship. It all comes down
to personal faith.
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