If you are worried about your spouse and fear that you see some
warning signs emotional affair than there are a few things that you
can be on the lookout for. Just remember that it's very easy to let
your imagination run away with you. You have to be careful to not see
things that aren't really there.
Many of the tips I'm about
to give you can be signs of an affair but they can also be innocent
and may not mean a thing. Just don't risk making things worse by
assuming something that may not be the case. If something seems wrong
don't accuse your spouse, instead open a dialog with them and ask
them about your concerns.
In some ways emotional affairs can
be the most damaging. It may actually be a little easier to forgive a
physical indiscretion since it didn't mean anything anyway, but an
emotional connection with another person is particularly upsetting
and hard to get over.
Here
are a few possible indicators that something is going on:Your
spouse suddenly starts working out or has a sudden interest in
wearing new and nicer clothes. Again, this might be totally innocent
but if it seems like it is coming out of the blue than it may be a
sign of trouble.
If your spouse seems to be
spending a lot more time at work than normal. A lot of sudden
overtime may be a sign that something is going on. Keep your eyes
open and don't accuse, but it can't hurt to talk.
If your spouse suddenly starts
talking about a co worker a lot. If all of a sudden you are hearing
your spouse talk about the same person and there is a lot of
affection in their tone, it may be a sign of an emotional affair.
Sometimes an emotional affair can sneak up on people. Even if your
spouse is starting to have feelings for someone, they may not
realize just what is going on yet; all the more reason to not jump
down their throats.
- If your spouse is suddenly very private about their phone
conversations and computer habits, it is a strong indicator that
they are doing something they don't want you to know about. You need
to find out what that "something" is (or who it is).
It's all too easy to slowly have an attraction grow between
two people who spend a lot of time together and have a lot in common.
That's why work place affairs happen so often. But before you run off
and accuse your spouse of something that you think they have done,
you had better be sure or you can really make a mess of your
marriage.
Looking for warning signs emotional affair? If you
are at that point it's very likely that something has happened to
make you suspicious. You know the saying "where there's smoke
there's fire" so assuming that you aren't just overly paranoid
and jealous, by the time you start to get suspicious it's likely that
there is something happening.
But before you run off and
accuse your spouse of something that you think they have done, you
had better be sure or you can really make a mess of your marriage.
Emotional Infidelity-Another
Way You Can Cheat
Emotional infidelity may sound like a strange concept but it is
real. We are raised to believe that cheating is when you have sexual
relations with another person outside of your relationship, but that
is not the only way you can cheat.
There is also an emotional
affair. An emotional affair is when you share your intimate feelings
with someone other then your partner. Do not mistake this for simply
having friends or the way you love your kids, it is something
entirely different.
Essentially the feelings you have for your
partner are what create the emotional backbone for a relationship.
But what happens when you have similar feelings for someone else?
This is emotional infidelity and it can be just as harmful as a
physical affair.
When someone is in a relationship they like
to believe that they are the center of their partners universe. They
want to believe they are special and that the love for them is not
something that can just be passed around.
That is what makes
sexual affairs so harmful, it is not just the fact that you were
physically intimate with another person. It is that you were
emotionally intimate as well. Physical relations are something you
share with someone you deeply care about, so to do so with another
shows you care for them and this can really hurt your partner.
That
is why an emotional affair often leads to a physical one. But even if
it never progresses to that level it can still hurt. Nobody wants to
feel like they are replaceable or something to be discarded once
used.
An emotional affair can start innocent enough. It can be
something as simple as getting a good impression from someone and
developing that relationship further. The breaking point from when it
stops being a normal relationship to something more intimate is when
you let your guard down and ignore the boundaries we often set for
ourselves.
There are lines that separate people, we place them
into different categories. There are friends, family, lovers all of
whom you care deeply for but in different ways. The emotional
infidelity comes in when you blur the lines between groups. When you
start caring for someone as more then just a friend and more as a
lover.
It is important to stay within the lines and not to
carelessly hand out your love. One of the best ways to determine if
you may have crossed the line is to ask yourself a simple question.
Do you confide in someone more then your partner?
It is not a
clear cut question since there are some secrets you do not want your
partner to know. But generally if you share everything with someone
other then your partner, this could be a problem. Trust is
fundamental for a relationship and if you trust someone more then
your partner, it might lead to further problems down the road.
An
emotional affair is a tricky business and it is not as clear cut as a
physical affair. You just need to try your best not to mix your
feelings and ensure that a friend just remains a friend.
Emotional Infidelity - Is It
Trouble In The Making
We don't live in a bubble. We spend time out in the world with
other people and sometimes we make a connection with those other
people. This is great, and a wonderful part of life. But it can
become emotional infidelity when you are being more intimate with
this new person than you are with your partner, even if it isn't
sexual. It may be hard to draw the line sometimes but if you
find that you are thinking of another person a lot, and not just in a
casual way, it may be that you need to assess your own relationship.
It's very common that this type of emotional affair will
eventually lead to a sexual relationship. That's one of the main
reasons it needs to be nipped in the bud right away. There is no
reason to beat yourself up about it just because you happened to meet
someone and found that the two of you had an amazing attraction. What
you do need to do, however, is to recognize that any type of
infidelity is wrong and you need to put a stop to it before it goes
any further.
The longer you allow yourself to spend time with
this other person, the stronger the attraction will become and the
harder it will be to resist temptation, or break things off. If you
are sharing things with this new person about your relationship with
your spouse, you've crossed a line. It's one thing to confide some
things to your friends, but not someone you are attracted to.
Doing so will only create bigger problems for you and create an
'unnatural' bond with the new person.
Your spouse is the
person you should be sharing these issues with, not someone who you
are having feelings for. That is a breach of the trust you and your
partner share. By letting this other person in, more and more
every time the two of you talk, you are distancing yourself from your
partner. If you do that for too long, your main relationship
will completely fall apart. And even though you may think that's what
you want so you can have the new person, it rarely works out quite so
neatly.
It's unbelievably easy to make more out of the
time you spend with your new friend. After all, the two of you don't
bicker, you don't have any issues with money or how to deal with the
kids, etc. The day to day things that can drag us all down aren't
shared by the two of you so of course things may seem wonderful. Just
remember, they felt that way at first with your spouse too.
It's inevitable. But don't confuse that with having found your soul
mate. Your soul mate is more than likely the person waiting for you
at home.
Emotional infidelity is very often the first step to
a full fledged affair. It's very easy to have a connection with
someone else, but when that connection seems to take on a life of
it's own, you need to pull back before things get so far out of hand
that you can't salvage the situation.