For those who want to get someone back that they were in a relationship with it does not need to be the end of he world. Often, things can be patched up, as long as it is done in the right manner and with the right intent. Going about it the wrong way will only result in driving them farther away.
The first thing to do is to give her back her space. This is crucial, but vitally important. She needs time to be alone. Most men will worry that during this separation of contact there will be another man to slide into his place. If the relationship is salvageable then this won’t be the case. She just needs time to sort things out and having someone hover over her every move will only complicate matters.
Also during this time is when the man needs to reassess the relationship. This means to get on with your life. It does not mean to go after every woman that you come in contact with, but it is fine to start talking to them and continuing friendships. This might actually work to your advantage.
The woman needs to see that she should get back with you so this will probably send her the message that your life has not become irreparably crippled since she left. Not only is this the right message for her but also it shows her that you are a strong man, which is what women want.
It is also a good idea during this transition period that a man continues to keep up his appearance. It is important to dress in the same manner that he would if his girlfriend were still around. Nothing flashy, and nothing sloppy- just ordinary. Either she will see him out in public or one of her friends will get word back to her. If it is a friend the first thing she will ask is “how did he look?” She will want to know how the breakup is affecting him. When she finds out he has gone on with his life, seemingly unscathed, it will cause her to take another look at what happened.
If a man is going to get someone back it needs to be for the right reasons. The reconciliation should be based on the fact that he feels that she is a good match. If there is hesitation in these thoughts then perhaps he needs to re-evaluate the relationship again.
Few things in life are as heady, or as frightening, as the prospect of getting back the 'one that got away'. More than likely you've spent more than a little time wondering what things would have been like if the two of you had gotten together, or stayed together, all that time ago. Getting back together after a long time isn't as impossible as it may seem, you may even be pleasantly surprised to find out your ex feels the same way too.
There are no guarantees, and of course, you will have a slightly more challenging time if you and your ex have a history and issues that the two of you have to work through. Things may actually be a little easier if this person is someone who you had feelings for but for one reason or another you never acted on those feelings, at least this way the two of you don't have a lot of emotional baggage to deal with.
You don't have to be nervous that they will reject you, as a matter of fact you don't need to let them know the true depth of your feelings at all at this point. Simply contact them. Keep things casual and let them know you were thinking about them and you were wondering if they'd like to get together to 'catch up'. Maybe you've recently moved closer to them, or you've just found some old pictures that reminded you of them, whatever the reason, you can keep things very casual at this point.
When the two of you meet, you'll be able to find out what their situation is, are they single? And if they are available, you'll be able to see from the way they act towards you if the feelings of love are mutual.
If, after the first meeting, you have established that you are both available and you both have an interest in reconnecting the next steps will depend on your previous experiences. If the two of you never got together in the past, just take your time and get reacquainted with each other, this time in a romantic way.
If the two of you have had a past relationship and now you've both decided you want to try again, it may be wise for the two of you to have 'the talk'. No, I don't mean about sex, I mean about the problems you had in your relationship the first time around. This talk doesn't have to happen on the first few dates, but if there does seem to be a spark you both have to be careful that you don't repeat the mistakes of the past and cause yourself, and each other, more pain.
It's important that the two of you are mature and honest enough to figure out what went wrong and what steps you will be wiling to take to make things better this time. It's also important that the two of you are honest about whether or not you can really have a relationship without letting all the hurts and resentments from your first relationship get in the way.
Sometimes we all need a second chance, we sometimes give up on someone too soon or are afraid to give it a try in the first place. The good news is that with a little luck and a lot of love getting back together after a long time is possible and you may both just find that it's so much better the second time around!
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