Showing posts with label cheaters how can i save our relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cheaters how can i save our relationship. Show all posts

Monday, February 8, 2010

Cheaters How Can I Save Our Relationship

Cheaters - How Can I Save Our Relationship?

Anytime there are cheaters involved in a relationships, the parties end up asking themselves, "How can I save our relationship?" There are many questions and luckily, just as many answers. All relationships can be saved but, especially when cheating is involved, it takes time. Also, by the time you reach the point that you are ready to save your relationship, you may actually decide that you do not want to save it.

When a relationship ends there is always pain and sadness. When a relationship ends because of cheating, the biggest hurdle to deal with is the mistrust. Once trust has been broken, it is extremely hard to bring back. It may never be fully restored. Although some individuals can put it behind them, others are so impacted by the loss of trust that they can never forgive.

The first step you need to take is to talk it through. This can take days or even months but you need to do what it necessary to save the relationship. It's important that both of you are completely open and honest about your mistakes and feelings. Discuss what lead up to the affair. Although whoever had the fair may take the brunt of the blame, both partners must be willing to own up to their mistakes. The person who has been cheated on will want to know why and the cheater must be honest about his/her answer. You may be surprised to learn that most people end up having affairs without actually going out and looking for them. Someone may come along at a time that they are feeling empty in the relationship and this other person fills the need that hadn't been met for a long time. If the cheating episode in your partnership resembles this "unintentional" affair, you can definitely work on getting your relationship back. If the affair was intentionally sought out, then you probably want to consider moving on.

Communication is important in any relationship, even if it is relatively healthy, but especially when an affair has taken place. If you can communicate in a rational way without getting too emotional, it is better but this can be hard, especially in the beginning. Try not to accuse, threaten, or be aggressive. If you try to look at your relationship as something that needs fixing, you can work on how to do that.

Getting back to the question of "Cheaters-how can I save our relationship?", there isn't an overnight solution but there are step by step methods that you can follow. And remember, because there is such a lack of trust, especially n the beginning along with other feelings like guilt, betrayal, anger and depression, you need to be very careful in how you communicate with each other. This doesn't mean that you need to be dishonest in order to be "nice" but that you do need to try to put yourself in the other person's shoes as well.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Cheaters - How Can I Save Our Relationship


If you've ever been in a relationship where you or your partner cheated, you may wonder how you can ever move on.  The question is for cheaters how can I save our relationship? There are many things you can do to move your relationship forward after one person has been unfaithful, but you have to keep in mind that sometimes a relationship simply cannot be saved.

If both parties want to try to save the relationship and move on after an affair it will take a lot of time and maturity.  It's really tough to trust again after someone has taken your trust and thrown it away.  Some people will not be able to get over it and it will not only end their existing relationship but that lack of trust can follow them to relationship after relationship for the rest of their lives.

Because the hurt you can cause another person could literally scar them for life it's really important that you really think it through before you decide to cheat.  After all, is a little fun on the side, or a quick ego boost really worth the pain you'll be causing another human being?  If you are so insecure that you think it's worth it just so you can feel better about yourself and more desirable you should probably not be in any relationship and spend some time in a therapist's office.

One of the biggest things you will need to do to move your relationship forward after an affair is to have both parties be brutally honest about the initial breakdown of the relationship and their part in it.  Blame for ruining a relationship is always shared by both parties, not always equally, but there are reasons the relationship fell apart to the point that someone thought they needed to have their needs satisfied by someone else.

Once you can honestly admit what went wrong you can solve the problem if you and your partner can communicate effectively.  This means you have to avoid name calling, finger pointing, and accusations. If you can communicate in an adult fashion about the problems in your relationship and what you can do to fix them you might be able to salvage your relationship.

The bottom line is that not all relationships should be saved.  If you are involved with someone who has a long history of cheating you should just move on.  They are obviously too concerned with their own selfish wants and needs, and they will never change. If, on the other hand, someone just gave into a moment of weakness you might be able to work together to save your relationship.  So ask yourself: cheaters, how can I save our relationship?

Saving a relationship can be done with the right help. If you feel you need more tips, why not have a look at The Making Up System for all the help you need. Here you will find good advice you can trust. No hype just good honest advice. Have a look at The Making Up System Now.