Where Can I Find Help For A Troubled Relationship

Relationships are difficult at the best of time but sometimes we need additional help. So where can you find help for a troubled relationship?

If you and your partner are still speaking, why not make a date together at your favorite restaurant. A public place is great for a chat about your feelings as you are more likely to keep your temper under control. You cannot let your cosy chat descend into a shouting match or you will disturb the other diners. 

Sometimes a little work and some private chats are all that is needed to sort out the troubles in a relationship. Life gets so busy that it is easy to lose track of our loved ones and to end up ignoring them or causing them to feel neglected. A few "couple only nights" may be all you both need to get back on track.

If you cannot talk alone, why not ask a trusted friend or family member to act as mediator. This can be a difficult step to take and not one that you should enter into lightly. You must pick someone who has the ability to act impartially. This is not the time for any third party to be taking sides.

What you are looking for is someone who can help you and your partner to talk openly about the problems you are having.  Someone who has been in a long term relationship, for a long period of time,  will probably better understand the difficulties a couple can face. Single people may understand the theory but not having had the practice will find it difficult to dispense advice.

Often it is not possible for you to find a suitable friend or family member so why not try couple counselling? People believe that these services are only available for married couples but that is not the case. There are some services dedicated to those that are married but others are for couples who live together or share time together. 

Check your local phone directory to see what services are available. Be careful when choosing your advisor though. If possible, go on a personal recommendation. Your doctor or religious adviser may be able to help. Or ask your counsellor if they have clients who are willing to give them a testimonial.

It is much better if both of you meet the counsellor as it is important you are both comfortable talking to this person. You will be discussing intimate details and this is impossible if you do not like the counsellor. They will probably want to meet you together as a couple and perhaps separately as well. Find out how many meetings you will be expected to attend and when you are likely to see results.

The good news is that if both parties are amenable to seeking help for a troubled relationship, you stand a great chance of sorting out your issues and going back to the happy couple you once were.

Of course, for even more help your can get the help of The Making Up System. There yo will find only good and honest help. Go to The Making Up System Now!

Openness To Healing Relationships

So many times people will find themselves in a relationship that used to be good, loving, and strong.  But somehow, somewhere, things changed.  Now they want to get that loving relationship back.  The first thing is making sure there is an openness to healing relationships. 

Most relationships that have broken down have done so over a period of time and usually because of hurts, many of which have been small.  These hurts have accumulated over a period of time, though, and now they've taken on a life of their own.

Over time we tend to shut ourselves off from our partner because we don't want to be hurt anymore.  Once that happens you will need to make sure you can open up again and attempt to heal the relationship.   Before you decide that you are going to fix your broken relationship you have to make sure that you are willing to open yourself up to the possibility of more hurt.

And, it's not just about you either.  Is your partner willing to open up and work on the relationship?  Many times one partner is more interested in salvaging the relationship than another.  If that's the case and your partner has made it clear, either by what they've said or their overall attitude, that they have no interest in working very hard to save the relationship, you might as well call it quits. You can't do it all yourself and you can't force your partner to try.

If, on the other hand, you both agree that you will try to work on the relationship the first thing you'll both need to do is look at yourselves.  You need to look at yourself and your partner needs to look at themselves. You are trying to honestly figure out what part you've played in the breakdown of the relationship and whether or not you will be committed to making the changes necessary to fix it.  Again, both of you have to admit their part in the break down of the relationship as well as be willing to try to change their behavior.

After all that the next thing you will both need to do is talk to each other.  This doesn't mean yelling, intimidating, or getting mad.  It means and open, adult discussion about how you are feeling.  You each have to be able to honestly speak your mind and explain what you think has happened, how you think it can be fixed, what you are willing to do to help fix it, and how you are feeling overall.

This step is vitally important and potentially very dangerous.  This is the part where someone could get hurt feelings and that could lead to a big blowout.  In order for this to work, it's crucial that you both give the other person time to talk, and not get mad or defensive about what they have to say.

If you are sure you and your partner really have an openness to healing relationships, and you're wiling to work on the steps I've listed here than the two of you will have a real shot at getting back to a place in your relationship where you can be happy to be together, and happy to be 'back to normal'.

What is important here is that both partners wants to work on the relationship in order to move toward Healing Relationships. For more good tips go to The Making Up System and get all the help you need.

Relationship Self Help - Can Save Your Relationship

There are plenty of relationship self help techniques you can use to bring the intimacy back into your relationship. Many people begin to feel that the intimacy levels in their relationships begin to fade over time. They mistakenly believe this means the love is gone, but the truth is that all relationships develop into a pattern of habits and rituals that can often make people feel more like roommates than lovers.

Instead of giving up on your relationship, try using some relationship self help techniques to bring the intimacy levels back to where they were when you first met.

1.    Small Talk

Research has shown that couples who engage in regular small talk will experience less arguments and fights throughout their relationship. Connective small talk doesn't mean bombarding your partner with an hour-long diatribe about every single thing you did during the day.

Small talk is simply sharing opinions or observations from things you did through your day. It also means learning to avoid mono-syllable responses and actually showing a bit of interest in what each other is saying. Ask questions and respond to your partner with positivity.

2.    Eye Contact

How many times do you really look your partner in the eye when you talk together? As relationships progress, many people tend to look in the direction of their partner's eyes, but they don't make eye contact.

When you first met, eye contact would have been high. Humans react to eye contact as being a positive way to build intimacy. As you become more familiar with each other, this decreases over time, which also leads people to believe the intimacy is dying.

3.    Non-sexual Physical Contact

Learning to touch your partner and encouraging them to touch you too in non-sexual ways can help to increase intimacy. Give your partner a hug without expecting it to lead to anything further. Offer your partner a back massage or a foot rub and don't have an ulterior motive. Hold hands when you're out together. These simple forms of physical contact re-establish a level of intimacy and trust in each other that can be very effective relationship self help techniques.

4.    Appreciation

Instead of focusing on the things that annoy you about your partner, try focusing on the things you appreciate about them instead.  There must be things about your partner that attracted you to them originally, so spend some time each day focusing on the positive things and don't waste time concentrating on the annoying traits that everyone has anyway.

5.    Time Out

Far too many couples fall into a pattern of trying to spend all of their time with their partner.  They begin to feel as though their partner is somehow deserting them if they want to spend a little time doing something without their significant other. While it's normal to enjoy each other's company, it's also important to remember that everyone needs a little time out occasionally.

This could be something as simple as going out for a meal or a movie with friends or a coffee with the girls. Research shows that many couples improve their relationships when they display trust and encourage each other to spend a little time doing things they enjoy.

What is important is that you have to really know what you are doing if you are thinking about Relationship Self Help, you must have a plan. The ideas above are very important and should really help.

For more help on Relationship Self Help, have a look at The Making Up System, there you will find lots of good advice for any relationship problems you may have. Go to The Making Up System Now!

Relationship Rescue Tactics

Many people begin searching for relationship rescue tactics to try and bring back the spark they once had with a partner when the magic begins to fade. Over time, most relationships grow and change from the loving, romantic bond into a steady routine of daily rituals and habits. In some cases, those habits can make one or both people in the relationship feel as though they're being taken for granted.

Some people may find that they're arguing more often than they're enjoying each other. Others may find that there's nothing left to say to each other or they simply fall into a daily pattern where everything else seems more important than the relationship.

Your relationship doesn't have to be this way.

Often the first avenue many people try in order to re-kindle a relationship is to try and bring back some of the romance. Intimate dinners and provocative lingerie are nice physical attempts at bringing you closer again, but they don't address on the inner, emotional reasons why the relationship may be strained. On the other hand, endlessly talking about your relationship rescue plans and tactics could potentially drive a wedge between you and strain the relationship even further.

There are plenty of relationship rescue tactics you can use to bring that loving spark back into your relationships. Here are some relationship rescue suggestions you can try to help get you back on the right track.

1.    Appreciation

When the initial heady, romantic stage of any relationship begins to settle into a comfortable partnership, many people lose sight of the things they originally appreciated in their partner. They begin to focus on the things that irritate them or annoy them or make them mad.

Unfortunately, focusing on all the negative aspects of your partner can often bring about a feeling of resentment, which can lead to arguments and eventually the destruction of the relationship.

It's important to try and find things in your partner that you appreciate. You might appreciate their kindness or their sense of humor or their intelligence or whatever attribute attracted you to them in the first place.

2.    Awareness

Live each day of your relationship as though it was the last day you have with your partner. Accidents happen when we least expect them. While this doesn't mean it's going to happen to you, consider how you'd feel if something did happen and today really was the final day you had together.

What would you regret most? What would you wish you'd said or done or changed if you never had the opportunity to do them again?

Your answers to those questions should be the very same things you need to be doing with your partner each and every day. When you live each day as though it was your last, the romance will return almost immediately.

3.    Communication

Your partner can't read your mind. Sitting in silence letting a problem brew until you're at bursting point won't make your partner see problems any more clearly and it can compound the negative emotions within you.

It's important to communicate with your partner about your expectations, your needs, your goals and ambitions, your disappointment and anger. Communication is about letting the other person know what you're feeling in a clear, non-blaming manner so that you can both be sure you're on the same page.


Relationship rescue tactics is all about finding ways to be sure you understand and appreciate the little things you do for each other instead of focusing on the negatives. If you can communicate clearly and find ways to appreciate and support your partner, then your relationship rescue tactics and attempts will be rewarded.

Taking action is important, but you need to know what you are doing. These tips above will help you a lot, but if you feel you need more help, go to: The Making Up System and get all the advice you need. The Making Up System is an honest ebook with real help that will not make matters worse.

How To Save A Relationship - Take Baby Steps

Well the good news is that if both of you are agreeable, the actual process of how to save a relationship is fairly easy.  If both of you still want to be life partners then you know that you love each other; but for some reason are finding it hard to communicate right now.

Life gets in the way of relationships. There is no two ways around that. Unfortunately we are all guilty of taking our loved ones for granted. We can spend time sorting out our kids problems, our friends problems perhaps even those of our work colleagues only to arrive home in a heap exhausted. We often assume that our partner can read our mind and know that we love and care about them.

But no matter how secure someone is, if they constantly feel or are made feel that they belong at the bottom of a very long list of priorities, they may leave. Feelings of resentment can grow over time and become rather like a snowball - small to start but soon takes on huge proportions.

The first step would be to arrange a night where both of you are free to concentrate 100% on your relationship. Get a sitter for the kids and head out somewhere for the evening. If you pick a public place, you are less likely to let your resentments boil over into an argument.

Agree that both of you want this relationship to work and reassure each other that you are committed to your partnership.  Arrange a series of date nights - these nights are for you two as a couple. You could each write out a list of what you would like to try in the relationship be it a night at the Opera or a particular technique in the bedroom. Then take turns trying to fulfill the other person's wishes.

In addition to the lists of treats you would like, you also should make a list of all that you enjoy about the relationship and then a list of the problem areas as you each see them. 

Spending time together away from the hassles of real life will help you to rediscover the magic that brought you together. Sharing the above lists will help you to realize what you have and what you need to work on.

Now it could be easy for one party to become offended at what is written down. You both need to know that this exercise has been done solely to increase the satisfaction level in your relationship not to knock the other person's confidence or blame them for the problems.

Try not to become defensive but listen to both the good parts and the bad. Try not to go to bed on an argument as unresolved conflict can cause more resentment. Showing love and appreciation goes a long way believe me.

By encouraging open communication and time for each other you should find that your commitment to each other becomes stronger and your friends will soon be asking you for advice on how to save a relationship.





Go To The Making Up System, there you will get good and honest advice about How To Save A Relationship. Have a look at the free videos and the recommendations and you will see that lots of people have been helped by The Making Up System.

Should You Try Getting Over A Relationship Or Put Your Energy Into Getting Your Ex Back

When we split from a lover, we can either try getting over a relationship or try getting them back. It obviously depends on whether you still love your ex as to which one you chose.

If you do want your ex back, you need to make every attempt to achieve this.  You and only you know whether he or she makes you happy and would make your life complete.  Your family and friends may try to advise you but remember that they are not impartial.  They love you and hopefully want what is best for you but sometimes people act with their own interests in mind.

If your friends are all single, they may have been jealous of your love affair and would prefer to keep you single.  If they didn’t like your partner, they are not going to encourage you to get him/her back.

Couples, as we know, break up for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes there is no coming back from the split and you have to accept it. Often especially if it was caused by something trivial or a misunderstanding, you could salvage things if only one of you would swallow their pride and initiate contact. Usually this will have to be the man as society still thinks it is the man who should do the chasing. A woman who makes the first move can be seen as being desperate.

Examine your own feelings before you decide which option to choose. Do you want to get back with your ex, to dump them so they know how it feels? These are games for teenagers to play so if that is your motivation, do yourself a favor and move on. But if you really do believe this person to be your soul mate, you need to plan a way to get them back in your life.

Try enlisting the help of their family and friends. Now there is a fine line between asking for help and becoming a stalker so take it slowly.  Just happen to be at the places these people hang out i.e. bump into them by accident and see how ms/mr ex is doing. Make sure you are looking good so that the reports back are favorable. If you haven’t slept for days, plaster on the makeup. You do not want it going back to your lover that you looked miserable and suicidal.

You could always try the direct approach and contact your former partner. Ask them out for a friendly drink or meal and see where it goes. You never know they could have been dying to make contact but were afraid that you would not entertain them.  People are funny creatures –they will often let fear of the unknown hinder their future happiness.

Whatever you decide, remember that we only get one shot at life. It is not a dress rehearsal. Getting over a relationship or getting back with your ex are both achievable, the question is which one do you want to succeed at?

What is important here is that you should have a plan of action if you want to get back with your ex. Go to The Making Up System where you will fin free videos and all the help you need.

How Can I Save Our Relationship- Is It Even Possible

I'm sorry.  If you're reading this you must be having a very rough time in your relationship.  I know how difficult that can be.  If you are asking, "How can I save our relationship?" I do have some tips that might be able to make a difference for you and your partner.

There are a few things you have to consider very carefully and honestly first.  You have to decide why you want to save your relationship.  That might sound like a dumb comment to make but sometimes we cling to things that we should just let go.  We cling for the wrong reasons such as fear of being alone.  Before you invest too much time and emotion in trying to save your relationship first make sure that it should be saved.

Now that you've done your honest soul searching and you've decided that your relationship is worth saving here are a few tips you can follow which should help:

1) Its not all about you. 

So often in relationships one person tends to carry more of the burden.  They are the 'fixer'.  They are the ones who carry most of the emotional baggage.  If that person is you than you have to realize that you can't do it all.  If your relationship is going to be saved your partner has to be able, and willing, to meet you halfway.

2) Try to communicate without condemning or criticizing. 

When a relationship starts to falter there are a lot of hurt feelings and frustrations from both parties.  These hurts can build up into a huge wall of resentment.  That wall is very tough to tear down.  It will take a lot of time, patience, and open communication.

If the two of you aren't good at communicating you might need to find resources such as a book or counseling, that can help you work on your communication skills.

3) Own it. 

If you've screwed up you need to be a mature adult and admit your mistake and apologize for it.  This is key.  Remember in step 2 when I talked about resentments building up? You can do a lot to ease those resentments if you just own up to your mistakes and offer a sincere apology for the hurt you may have caused.  To someone who loves you and wants to make things work this will be a very sweet sound.

Follow these 3 steps and you will be well on your way to answering the question "how can I save our relationship?"  Remember, the problems didn't spring up overnight and they're not going to go away overnight either.  But if the two of you are willing to work together you can get back the loving, fulfilling relationship you both want.

Cheaters - How Can I Save Our Relationship

If you've ever been in a relationship where you or your partner cheated, you may wonder how you can ever move on.  The question is for cheaters how can I save our relationship? There are many things you can do to move your relationship forward after one person has been unfaithful, but you have to keep in mind that sometimes a relationship simply cannot be saved.

If both parties want to try to save the relationship and move on after an affair it will take a lot of time and maturity.  It's really tough to trust again after someone has taken your trust and thrown it away.  Some people will not be able to get over it and it will not only end their existing relationship but that lack of trust can follow them to relationship after relationship for the rest of their lives.

Because the hurt you can cause another person could literally scar them for life it's really important that you really think it through before you decide to cheat.  After all, is a little fun on the side, or a quick ego boost really worth the pain you'll be causing another human being?  If you are so insecure that you think it's worth it just so you can feel better about yourself and more desirable you should probably not be in any relationship and spend some time in a therapist's office.

One of the biggest things you will need to do to move your relationship forward after an affair is to have both parties be brutally honest about the initial breakdown of the relationship and their part in it.  Blame for ruining a relationship is always shared by both parties, not always equally, but there are reasons the relationship fell apart to the point that someone thought they needed to have their needs satisfied by someone else.

Once you can honestly admit what went wrong you can solve the problem if you and your partner can communicate effectively.  This means you have to avoid name calling, finger pointing, and accusations. If you can communicate in an adult fashion about the problems in your relationship and what you can do to fix them you might be able to salvage your relationship.

The bottom line is that not all relationships should be saved.  If you are involved with someone who has a long history of cheating you should just move on.  They are obviously too concerned with their own selfish wants and needs, and they will never change. If, on the other hand, someone just gave into a moment of weakness you might be able to work together to save your relationship.  So ask yourself: cheaters, how can I save our relationship?

Saving a relationship can be done with the right help. If you feel you need more tips, why not have a look at The Making Up System for all the help you need. Here you will find good advice you can trust. No hype just good honest advice. Have a look at The Making Up System Now.