I a relationship after cheating at all
possible? The two people in this relationship will determine the
answer to this question. Both of you have to be willing and able to
forgive. If you cannot forgive and forget, it is highly unlikely that
any thing will change and then it will not work.
Trust is extremely difficult to
rebuild. Whenever you enter into a relationship with someone, you
start with a blank slate. The other person still needs to learn to
trust you but if you don't already have any negative baggage it's
usually easier.
But, after they let their guard down,
let you into their life and trusted you, it is going to be extremely
hard to open themselves up to pain after you have shown them that
their trust was misplaced.
Even though it will be difficult, that
does not mean you should give up. Actually, the last thing you should
do is to give up. You need to do everything you can if you want your
partner to love and trust you again.
With time, love and patience anything
can be rebuilt, but again, it will be imperative that you are both
willing to work on it.
Sometimes the best thing to do in this
situation is to give your ex some time and space. While you do that
you should be spending time figuring out why you did something so
self destructive as to cheat on someone you love.
Please don't make the mistake of
thinking that infidelity is about sex, it's not. It's about ego,
loneliness or insecurity. You need to address what your issues are
that you thought would be cured by hooking up with someone else.
Before you can go back to your ex and
expect them to take you back, you have to make sure that you know why
you cheated before so you don't do it again.
This knowledge will likely take you
quite a bit of time to figure out. It will most likely also be
painful for you to look at your less than desirable characteristics.
But, that is the best chance you have of convincing your ex that they
should take you back and that they can trust you.
To complete this step and to figure out
what your issues are that you "thought" would get solved by
cheating, you might need the help of a therapist. It is not easy to
identify your own b.s. most of the time. You will most likely need
help and having a therapist gently point out things that you need to
change about yourself. It may not be fun but it will help you become
a better person, if you let it.
When love is present pretty much
anything is possible, even having a relationship after cheating.
Whether or not you are successful at keeping your relationship and
earning your partners trust again, will take a lot of work and total
commitment and honesty. If you don't think you can commit totally
it's best if you just let things go.
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