Friday, February 26, 2010

The Best Spouse Relationships

The best spouse relationships are based on love and respect. That goes without saying, doesn’t it? Everyone probably realizes that love and respect are crucial to having a good marriage. But beyond love and respect there are a few things that can help spouse relationships.

Think back to when you were first married. If you’re newly married, think back to when you first met and were dating. How did you treat your partner? You probably treated your partner with respect, but also with kindness and thoughtfulness.

Unfortunately, it’s common that the longer we know someone, the less kind we tend to be toward them. One would think that the opposite holds true. But we start to take the other person for granted and think they’ll always be there, no matter what.

Think of the last time you went to the bank or grocery store and spoke to the cashier. Maybe you exchanged words with a stranger. How was the tone of your voice and your words? You probably sounded like the sweetest person on the planet. That person might have thought “how polite” when you walked away.

Now think to the words and the tone of the voice you use with your spouse sometimes. When you get angry or you’re unhappy about something, think about how you sound. Would you ever speak that way to a stranger? If you’re thinking “probably not” then you’ve started taking advantage of your spouse.

People do it with close friends, parents and children, too. If we could record people’s conversations and play them back at a different time, people might be ashamed of how they sounded. And they probably wouldn’t speak that way to someone they didn’t know well for fear of hurting their feelings!

Good spouse relationships are kind ones. Everyone gets angry now and then. And yes, everyone says things he or she regrets in an angry and even hateful tone of voice. But you can keep these instances to a minimum by just thinking about whether you’d talk to your postman or your boss that way.

Thoughtfulness is also an important factor in good spouse relationships. People love their spouses, but it seems the longer they’re together, they less they sometimes show it. Your spouse is one person you should make a point of being thoughtful toward, too.

In the beginning when you’re first dating someone or first married, you might send (or receive) flowers, cards and little surprises. Generally after people are married for a while, these sorts of things slow down or stop. Remembering to be thoughtful and surprise your spouse can help makes yours one of the better spouse relationships.

Try to keep in mind that marriage isn’t written in stone. There really are other opportunities out there for your spouse. Bring back some of the things you did and said when you were trying to win this person. Be kind and thoughtful as much as you can. Those combined with love and respect will make yours one of the enduring spouse relationships.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Win Ex Boyfriend Back In 7 Easy Steps

Has your guy just dumped you? It really hurts doesn’t it? Well, here’s how to win ex boyfriend back in 7 easy steps.

1. Do you really want him back? 

Okay, this may seem like an odd step to go through, but it is really important. Your boyfriend may seem indispensible, but you will be able to move on without him. If he’s someone worth keeping, read on. But if he’s just “any old guy” don’t hang on for the sake of hanging on. As the old saying goes, “there are other fish in the sea.”

2. Think about why you broke up. 

Think carefully about what he said when he dumped you. Also think back to the things he said to you in the days right before you broke up. He may have indicated that you were too clingy or that you had let yourself go. If he wants you to change, you have to decide whether you want to be the girlfriend he wants to have.

3. Don’t bug him. 

Sometimes, girls think that they should call or text their ex a bunch of times hoping that showing how much they love their guy will get him back. Instead, you should give him some space. This will let both of you evaluate the relationship. If you are in school together, you don’t need to go out of your way to avoid him, but don’t chase him down either.

4. Don’t manipulate him. 

You may be tempted to flirt with his friends, for instance, in an attempt to make him jealous. More likely, it will just make him annoyed and put him off you. He may even think you are acting slutty. So, stay away from doing manipulative actions.

5. Play hard to get. 

Don’t let him think that he can wiggle his little finger and you will come rushing to his side. Let him squirm a little bit. Remember guys like the chase.

6. Don’t send friends as emissaries. 

It’s common for girls to send their girlfriends to “feel out” your ex. But this just annoys guys. If you are going to communicate something to him, do it yourself. Don’t put him in the awkward position of having to explain his feelings to your friends.

7. Don’t get worried about a new girlfriend. 

It’s probably just a rebound relationship. It is not uncommon for a guy to hook up with a new girl right after he has broken up with you. But these rebound relationships rarely last. It is very possible that he will come back to you after he has some time to work things out. In the meantime, become everything he wants in a girl. Get gorgeous. Be friendly. Be happy. These things will pry him away from the good time girl and back into your arms.

Many girls don’t know how to win ex boyfriend back. They do it all wrong and end up pushing him away instead. When you follow the seven steps in this article, you will be able to come out a winner in the game of love.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

How To Convince Your Ex Boyfriend To Get Back Together

If you are reading this, you are obviously looking to convince your ex boyfriend to get back together. But the question you should be asking yourself is why? Do you really want this person back or are you just feeling lonely and frightened of being single.

Being single can be great fun but it is a different lifestyle from that of a couple. You don't have to please anybody else which can be liberating but being on your own again can also be scary. You may feel that you will never meet Mr Right and that time is passing you by.

But never get back with your ex boyfriend just because you are scared of being on your own. He may be your ex but the next guy on the block may be the ONE. If you split for silly reasons such as game playing or a temper tantrum and you want this guy back then it is best to try and apologise for your behaviour.

If he decided to break up with you, he may have got cold feet. Guys don't always want to admit that they prefer spending time with one lady rather than playing the field. Examine your relationship and see if this could be the case with your guy.

Signs to look out for include the way he treated you. If he usually behaved like a gentleman then there is a good chance he is regretting the break up. Another good sign is if he introduced you to his family, in particular his mother. Men don't tend to bring home their girlfriends unless they are pretty serious about her and sees a future together.

So when trying to convince your ex boyfriend to come home, you need to try to see the relationship from your partners point of vuew. Being able to see each other's perspective gives you a better chance of resolving your differences. You will both need the freedom to express your feelings even if these are potentially hurtful for the other person to hear.

So long as both parties don't use this opportunity as a means of hurting each other, you stand a good chance of working through the issues. Knowing how to criticise and accept criticism is a good starting point for any relationship.

You both need to be assertive and decide what it is that you want out of this relationship. Knowing where you stand means that you can both move forward with your lives even if it means that you do split up. Hopefully you will decide that you want to be together and are more committed to resolving your differences.

If you do feel angry then let it show. Just be sure that when you show your anger you don’t reject your partner at the same time. You are trying to help him realise that you belong together and not apart.

Following these tips may help to convince your ex-boyfriend to get back together. Good luck.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Does My Boyfriend Really Love Me 5 Actions to Look For

It can be hard to fully understand the emotions of your partner. While you may try to get into their mind, you may still struggle to understand how they feel. You may find yourself asking, 'Does my boyfriend really love me?' Each relationship will have different signs and signals that will answer this question. With that being said, there are five different actions that may show that your boyfriend loves you.

1. He Does the Small Things

People tend to focus about the larger aspects of relationships. They often fail to look at the smaller aspects of their relationship. This is unfortunate, as most of the tell-tale signs of love can be found in the small things. Does your boyfriend work to make you smile? Is he extra-corny just to make you laugh? Is he making you dinner, or letting you pick the movie? All of these small things show that your boyfriend is looking out for your feelings and emotions, and that he does have strong emotions for you.

2. He's Talking about the Future

One of the biggest indicators of love is any talk that discusses the future. If he is talking about future dates, or future actions, you can know that he sees you in his future. Whether it be the immediate future, or a distant future, you can be sure that he loves you or at the very least cares deeply for you.

3. He's Taking you Out

Does your boyfriend take you out to dinner, or out on the town? If your boyfriend likes to entertain you, he has strong emotions for you that could be love.

4. He's Showing you Off to Friends

Your boyfriend would not show you off to his friends if he did not love you. Is your boyfriend inviting you to hang out with his friends? Does he constantly talk to his friends about you? These are clear signs that he values your relationship.

5. He Wants you to Meet the Family

One of the biggest steps in a relationship is the step that introduces you to your boyfriends family. Most men will not introduce a partner to their family unless they see potential in the relationship. If your boyfriend did not see this future, he would not introduce you to parents, brothers, or sisters. If he wants you to meet the family, you can be sure that he loves you.

Your boyfriend may not be the best at verbalizing his love for you. If he does struggle to vocalize his feelings, look at his actions. If you notice that his actions signify a deep emotion, you can know that your boyfriend loves you. If you find yourself asking 'Does my boyfriend really love me?', simply look for these few actions. If you notice one or more of these actions, you can be sure that your boyfriend loves you or cares deeply for you.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Cheating Boyfriend Test 4 Types of Tests

Girls who think that their boyfriends are cheating will often turn to Internet websites to find answers to their suspicions. Most will run into a "cheating boyfriend test" that will gauge their situation, and give advice based on the information provided. It is important to take the information you find through these quizzes with a grain of salt. It is also important to be able to differentiate between the four types of tests, and how they can affect your results and your relationship.

The "Hunch" Test

The first type of test that many will run into can be referred to as the "Hunch" test. This test simply asks you questions that are based on your gut instinct. Questions on these tests will include phrases like 'Do you assume that he's or "If you had to guess, when he goes out with his friends he...". These questions are based on your hunches, and are not based on actual evidence. These tests lead to paranoia, and never manage to prove whether or not your boyfriend is cheating on you.


The "Changes" Test

Another type of test will focus on the irregularities of your relationship. The test will simply ask you about any changes that you may see in your boyfriend, or in your relationship. Questions may ask if he acts toward you like he used to, or if he does simple tasks in the same way that he used to. This test aims to gauge any irregular behavior, but suffers the same fate as the hunch test. This test simply makes you more paranoid, and doesnÕt actually prove anything at all.

The "Professionals" Test

Professional tests are tests that are designed by psychiatrists and behavior specialists. These tests claim to give you a professional opinion on your boyfriend. These questions cause nothing but trouble; most are not actually designed or supported by any professionals. These tests simply pretend to have more clout than they actually have.

The "Personality" Test

The final type of test is the only type of test that may be somewhat legitimate for those who are trying to figure out if their boyfriend is cheating on them. The 'personality' test looks at the personality of your boyfriend. The test will not state whether or not your boyfriend is cheating on you. The answers will simply tell you whether or not their personality type is prone to cheating. This test is the most positive of them all because it gives you hints and tips about the personality of your boyfriend without assuming that he is actually cheating on you.

There are certain types of test that could be considered more reliable than others. It is important to understand, however, that no test can actually tell you whether or not your boyfriend is being unfaithful. You must simply trust that they are being faithful, or confront them about their cheating ways.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Can Positive Thinking Get My Boyfriend Back

There are a lot of people who believe in the power of positive thinking. They work hard to ensure that they remove as many negative thoughts as possible. Some people believe that positive thinking can get my boyfriend back. There are a lot of things to consider when thinking about positive thinking. While it may be able to help you to get your boyfriend back, it may not be the only thing that you need to do.

Benefits of Positive Thinking

Positive thinking can be a big help when you are trying to get someone back. If you want to know if positive thinking get my boyfriend back, think about the good that it can do.

Positive thinking can completely change your outlook on your old relationship. It will help you to remove the negative thoughts that you may have. You may not think about the negatives of that past relationship. You will also stop thinking negatively in terms of your chances of getting back together. Positive thinking can help you to look at the situation in a new light.

Positive thinking may also give you a new perspective on your life. You may realize that you do not want to get back together with your old boyfriend when you think positively. You may realize that you do not need them after all, and that you are fine on your own. This may not be the case, but it is a possibility to consider. While this is slightly different, it is still a benefit of positive thinking.

Issues With Positive Thinking

Relying completely on positive thinking may not be good for your overall issue. While it is important to think positively, you still need to take action. You still need to asses the situation. You need to understand the steps that you need to take to get your boyfriend back.

If you only try positive thinking, your chances of getting your boyfriend back are slim to none. They will not know that you are thinking of them. They will not know that you are thinking about getting back together with them. Without action, positive thinking is not going to get you back together with your old boyfriend.

Positive thinking is all about you. It helps you to get over your issues, and helps you to think positively. Positive thinking does not do anything to the person that you want to get back together with.

Positive thinking is an important part of this overall process. If you want to make sure that you get our old boyfriend back, however, you must take action. Talk to them. Listen to what they have to say. Buy them small gifts, and try to spend time with them. These are the only ways to actually get your boyfriend back.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Can Me And My Boyfriend Get Back Together

Many girls want to know, “can me and my boyfriend get back together?” Well, part of the answer to that question depends on you and part depends on your ex boyfriend. This video will look at the things you can do to make it more likely that you and your boyfriend can get back together.

First of all, you need to demonstrate that you have learned from past mistakes. You should look at what didn’t work the first time around and see if you can improve on it. Did he complain that you spent too much time with your girl friends? Then, plan to spend more time with him if you get back together.

The next thing you need to do is remind him of all of the good things in your relationship. Who were you when you first got together? Has anything changed? For instance, when you got together were you a bubbly outgoing girl who had lots of things on your plate? Then, as you got more involved with him, did you drop a lot of your activities? Maybe he dropped you because you weren’t as engaging as you used to be.

Put your hurt feelings aside and look at how you can support your ex boyfriend. While he’s just a friend now, by being there to support him, maybe you can turn the relationship back into something more.

If his friends were critical of you, that may have been the reason behind the break up. Try to win his friends over as they have a great deal of influence on who he chooses to date.

One of the most powerful tools you have to get your ex boyfriend back is to reminisce about the good times you shared. As you put the positive memories in his mind, he will feel more like getting back together with you.

Go to the places you used to go together and do the activities you used to do together. Not only will this make it more likely that you will just “run in” to your ex boyfriend, you will also be developing the hobbies that he enjoys. Also, if there was a pastime that he encouraged you to take up while you were in the relationship, you might want to consider doing it now. It will signal to him that you have changed and have become even more interesting.

Always look your best. You never know when you might run into him. Guys are so much more visual that girls are. So, your appearance matters.

Be a positive person. Guys don’t like depressed, whining girls. Be positive and upbeat around all kinds of people – but especially your ex!

But, whatever you do, don’t be too obvious that you are trying to get your ex boyfriend back. The pressure will make him like you less, not more.

You will notice that the advice I’ve given you here will make you a more attractive girlfriend whether it is for your ex or for a new guy. That’s because improving yourself will always get you a boyfriend.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

How To Get Back An Ex and Make It Stick

When wondering how to get back an ex, we often forget that we are working from a position of strength. If you are trying to convince a new potential partner to notice you, you may have to try various different tricks to gain their attention. You don't know them so you don't know which buttons to press.

But when dealing with your ex, you know exactly what they like and don't like. You know which clothes they prefer you to wear, what scent or cologne, where they hang out and what they like doing in their spare time. You know her favorite flowers or what team he supports. You know this person intimately and you can use this knowledge to your advantage. OK, you also have the disadvantage of the fact that you have already broken up once but that is not the end of the world. We all make mistakes and thankfully most can be rectified.

So don't despair, you have a lot of things going for you. Millions of couples the world over break up and get back together again and so can you. You just need to know how to approach your ex-partner and convince them that you deserve another chance. Honest communication is the best policy. Don't be tempted to play games, you are not a child and this is not the playground. Some people will tell you that you should try and make your ex jealous. But trying to hurt anyone doesn't show any respect for that person's feelings never mind those of the person you are using.

Unfortunately how to have a successful relationship is not a subject taught in school. Some of us are lucky to have parents who are still together and have shown us by their example, what a happy partnership is. But all too often this is not enough. Go into any bookshop and you will see shelves of books on relationships. How to make them better, how to make them work, how to meet the right man or woman, how to keep them once you meet them etc. You think of any question you may have had about your relationship and there is a probably a book written to answer it.

But reading loads of books won't turn you into a relationship expert overnight. You need to read the right material. You need to know that other people have found these books useful and been successful in attracting their ex back into their lives.

You want a course that doesn't promise the earth but will help you to resolve your differences with your ex and enable you to become a happy couple once again. Sometimes these books will claim to make you totally irresistible to the other sex. But this isn't what you want. There is only one person you are interested in getting back. So, it really is up to you. You can stay home and be miserable wondering how to get back an ex or you can be constructive and take positive steps and hopefully soon you will be back in the arms of your lover once more.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Guy Advice On Healing A Relationship

If you're struggling to keep your relationship with your wife or girlfriend from falling apart you will need guy advice on healing a relationship. You may want to talk to your buddies, but the truth is they probably don't know any more than you do. Instead read this article for some good advice on repairing your broken relationship.

There are two phrases that should be the building blocks to repairing your relationship: "I'm sorry" and/or "I was wrong". Neither one will mean a thing if they aren't sincere. The first thing you have to do to heal your relationship is to be a man and own up to your part in the problems.

Many men seem to think that apologizing is a sign of weakness. Actually nothing could be further from the truth. If you think about it, one of the hardest things you will ever do is to admit you were wrong and that you caused someone else's pain, especially someone you love. That is a hard thing to do. So apologizing isn't a sign of weakness, it's actually a sign of being a man and being strong.

In some ways it might seem easier to just bury your feelings and don't admit that you were wrong or that you are in pain. Again, a very 'manly' thing to do. But is it? While that might be the first thing many men will do, it's not the easiest in the long run. If you bury those feelings you will never truly be free of them. They will jump up and haunt you when you least expect it. No matter how painful it is you need to face them and get over them once and for all. That's the only real way you can have peace for the rest of your life.

So if you want to heal your relationship you need to honestly access your part in the breakdown of the relationship. Were you inattentive, did you take your wife for granted, did you stop making her feel special and loved?

There's a seen in the movie "The Breakup" where Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are fighting. She had just put in a long day at work and hosted a dinner party and wanted his help to clean up. She said to him " I want you to want to do the dishes" and, of course, his response was "Why would I want to help you do the dishes"? A valid question. Sort of.

I doubt that character really thought she wanted him to want to do the dishes. What she really wanted was for him to understand that she was tired and wanted to relax too. She wanted him to show his appreciation of all she does by helping her and taking some of the burden off of her shoulders.

Are you guilty of pretending to be 'stupid'. Pretending like you don't really know what your wife wants? Many men fall into that trap, just like in the movie. They know what their wife is trying to say, they just choose to pretend like they don't because it seems easier than actually helping. It's selfish. And it will lead to long term problems. This all goes back to what I was talking about above: making your wife feel appreciated.

The good news is that if you've made some mistakes in the past you can change and become a better man. You can become the kind of man that you can be proud of and that she can love and respect. Use this guy advice on healing a relationship as a starting point and you can not only save your relationship but improve it too.

Monday, February 15, 2010

4 Reasons to Avoid Boyfriend-Girlfriend Quizzes

There are a lot of quizzes on the Internet that aim to analyze your relationship. They want to tell you how compatible you are with your boyfriend, and they want to tell you how good of a boyfriend or girlfriend you have. Some quizzes even aim to tell you whether or not your significant other is cheating on you. These quizzes cause nothing but problems and issues in relationships, and should be avoided.

Here are 4 major reasons to avoid boyfriend/girlfriend quizzes.

1. They're Making you Paranoid

You may not realize it, but these quizzes may actually be making you paranoid, as far as your relationship is concerned. The quizzes will give you advice that could cause you to question the merits of your significant other, and of your relationship. Unfortunately, many of these quizzes make these assertions without any proof. You may start to believe that your relationship isn't as good as it could be simply because of bad advice from an online quiz.

2. They're Too General

These types of quizzes are far too general. They ask broad, sweeping questions that do not actually indicate anything, positive or negative. Their generalizations could hurt your views of your relationship, and for no good reason.

3. Relationships are Unique

It is important to understand that each and every relationship is unique. Your connection and interactions with your boyfriend or girlfriend are different than any other connection you will have. Relationships are unique, and should be viewed and analyzed as such. When you rely on a quiz that is full of generalization, you rely on something that is not taking your relationship into account. Your relationship is too unique to be thrown in with simple relationship generalizations.

4. It Can Lower your Trust

Many will find that online quizzes can actually lower their trust, causing multiple problems in their relationship. If you start to see quizzes that talk about cheating boyfriends or girlfriends, you may begin to question the loyalty in your own relationship. Suddenly, problems that do not even exist are being brought up. You should trust that you understand your boyfriend or girlfriend, and that they are being open and honest with you. If you truly believe these things, you will find little to no need for these types of quizzes or tests.

You may turn to boyfriend/girlfriend quizzes for advice for your relationship. These quizzes should actually be the last place that you would look for relationship advice. It is ok to be confused about your relationship; simply talk to family and friends about your relationship and how you feel about your significant other. The words of advice and encouragement that they can provide will be more thoughtful, personalized, and realistic than any advice you would receive from these types of quizzes.

Friday, February 12, 2010

How to Get a Woman Back If You Really Want Her

So you've lost the love of your life and you want her back. Some will say that it's easy to get a woman back. Others will tell you to just let it go. Of course, it all depends on the situation and both of your personalities but in general, with a bit of instruction and dedication, you can have your woman back in your arms again.

There are many reasons why a woman leaves a man but most of the time, it boils down to two main causes. Either the woman doesn't feel appreciated anymore or she is bored. If you've cheated on the woman you want back, of course she doesn't feel appreciated and you have broken (maybe permanently) the trust she once granted you.

Women can get bored when there is too much predictability in the relationship. This doesn't mean that you have to constantly be going on trips or surprising her with flowers or gifts. It just means that you yourself don't have to do exactly what you've always done. Sometimes when men are aiming to please, they go too far by buying expensive gifts, calling too much or saying the phrase "I love you" constantly. This can actually backfire and scare women off.

Or, it could be the opposite. Maybe you've barely shown any affection at all for the woman in your life and she's had enough. Maybe you've started breaking your promises. Even simple little promises that are broken can start the decay in a relationship. For example, maybe you didn't call when you said you would. Maybe you called off some date that you had with your ex at the very last minute and didn't give a reason. A Woman will not let this type of behavior go on too long - she will leave you. And chances are, she's spoken to you about it already and you just brushed it off.

Before you decide how to get a woman back, you need to take a look at yourself. What are the mistakes that you made? Do you still have feelings left for your woman or do you just want to get back into your old routine?

When a relationship has been broken, you need to take some time to step away from it and look at everything objectively. It might not be what you feel like doing, but it is what you really need to do if you plan on winning her back. Precisely because relationships vary significantly from one to the next, men should take some time to analyze the situation (as most women do).

While doing this, make sure you are taking care of yourself as well. After a while, you will come to some clarification and you will be able to see whether you really want to try "how to get a woman back."

Thursday, February 11, 2010

4 Ways to Say Sorry to Your Boyfriend Or Girlfriend


http://making-up-system.infoIt can be incredibly difficult to tell your sweetheart that you are sorry. For some, it can be difficult because of the embarrassment that they feel from their wrong-doings. For others, it can be difficult because they are simply too stubborn to apologize for something.

Either way, it is important to say sorry to someone that you care about when you have done something wrong. If you are struggling with an apology, consider these 4 ways to say sorry to your boyfriend or girlfriend.

The Simple Apology

Sometimes, all you need to do is give your boyfriend a simple apology. This form of apology is best for those small issues that don't really require serious thought. This can be the hardest apology for those who have issues with their ego, as those that are stubborn often hate apologizing. It is also important to note that the simple apology may not work for bigger issues. If the wrong-doing is somewhat serious, a simple apology will come across as insincere.

The Long Talk

If you have done something wrong, you may need to sit down and have a talk with your lover. Talk to them about how you made them feel, and why they are upset. Apologize, but talk about this apology. Talk to your significant other about what you did, and the steps that you will take to ensure that it never happens again. A long and serious talk is the most heartfelt way to apologize to your soul mate.

Giving Gifts

Gift giving is often seen as a secondary way to apologize for an action. While you have a normal apology, you back the apology up with gifts. The gifts are intended to make up for the problem. While gift giving will not solve your problems, it can help to make your sweet thing feel better. They may be more willing to accept your apology if you are making the extra effort to make them happy.

Going Out

Another way to support your apology is to treat your honey to a night out. Your lover may feel better about the situation if they can enjoy a night with you. While the apology is important, it is also important to remember why you are together. If you enjoy a night together, your apology may be accepted more easily.

You need to think about the action that you are apologizing for before you actually make the apology. There may be some instances that will benefit from a simple apology. There are other issues that may require a more intense apology.

Take the time to fully understand the reason for the apology and the apology method that will be appropriate. While it may seem like a lot of work, you want to make sure that you say sorry to your boyfriend in a way that will mend your relationship.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

How To Get Your Relationships Needs Met

If you can get your relationships needs met, the relationship has a better chance of being long and happy, that is the reason why it is one of the very important Relationship Rescue Tips. Not having your needs met is one of the biggest reasons relationships don’t work out. And after a break up, it’s especially important to have your relationships needs met to stay happy and stay together.

The surefire way to get your needs met in a relationship is by making sure the other person knows just what those needs are. You can’t read minds, and you shouldn’t expert your partner to be able to read minds either. He or she wants to make sure your relationships needs are met, so tell them what they are.

At the same time, encourage your partner to tell you the needs he or she feels are important. You might be surprised to learn, if you’ve never had this conversation before, how different your needs might be.

You might feel the need for you partner to tell you he loves you often, so may you do that for him. He no doubt enjoys that, but maybe what he really needs is for you to do quick considerate things to make him feel special. Some people like to be told, and some people like to be shown.

Simply having a discussion about your relationships needs can strengthen the relationship and make it easier for you to keep each other happy. If you’re uncomfortable having such a frank discussion, you should do it anyway. Telling each other your needs is better than hinting or expecting them to be psychic.

You may really need your partner to be more helpful to you. But when it’s time to clean or wash dishes you do them alone, yet again. And instead of simply asking for help or letting him know that it would mean a lot to you if he would do them sometimes or do them with you, you get angry.

You might huff around while you’re doing them, slam a cabinet, or act otherwise put out. This is passive aggressive behavior. You’re trying to manipulate him into helping you by acting that way. It’s much better and healthier to simply ask for help.

Passive aggressive behavior is common in relationships, and it’s a worsening cycle because it doesn’t work. If he does take your hint, it’s only after you’ve acted put upon, angry and resentful. So his doing the dishes might be only to keep you from acting that way.

If you ask for help and explain that it makes you feel good when he wants to help you, then he’s coming at the task from a place of love and helpfulness. He doesn’t feel guilted into doing it, so it’s better for everyone.

This applies to things like showing affection, respecting each other’s feelings, and every aspect of your relationship. When you want something, ask for it, and be prepared to give your partner what he or she asks for to make sure all your relationships needs are met.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Cheaters How Can I Save Our Relationship

Cheaters - How Can I Save Our Relationship?

Anytime there are cheaters involved in a relationships, the parties end up asking themselves, "How can I save our relationship?" There are many questions and luckily, just as many answers. All relationships can be saved but, especially when cheating is involved, it takes time. Also, by the time you reach the point that you are ready to save your relationship, you may actually decide that you do not want to save it.

When a relationship ends there is always pain and sadness. When a relationship ends because of cheating, the biggest hurdle to deal with is the mistrust. Once trust has been broken, it is extremely hard to bring back. It may never be fully restored. Although some individuals can put it behind them, others are so impacted by the loss of trust that they can never forgive.

The first step you need to take is to talk it through. This can take days or even months but you need to do what it necessary to save the relationship. It's important that both of you are completely open and honest about your mistakes and feelings. Discuss what lead up to the affair. Although whoever had the fair may take the brunt of the blame, both partners must be willing to own up to their mistakes. The person who has been cheated on will want to know why and the cheater must be honest about his/her answer. You may be surprised to learn that most people end up having affairs without actually going out and looking for them. Someone may come along at a time that they are feeling empty in the relationship and this other person fills the need that hadn't been met for a long time. If the cheating episode in your partnership resembles this "unintentional" affair, you can definitely work on getting your relationship back. If the affair was intentionally sought out, then you probably want to consider moving on.

Communication is important in any relationship, even if it is relatively healthy, but especially when an affair has taken place. If you can communicate in a rational way without getting too emotional, it is better but this can be hard, especially in the beginning. Try not to accuse, threaten, or be aggressive. If you try to look at your relationship as something that needs fixing, you can work on how to do that.

Getting back to the question of "Cheaters-how can I save our relationship?", there isn't an overnight solution but there are step by step methods that you can follow. And remember, because there is such a lack of trust, especially n the beginning along with other feelings like guilt, betrayal, anger and depression, you need to be very careful in how you communicate with each other. This doesn't mean that you need to be dishonest in order to be "nice" but that you do need to try to put yourself in the other person's shoes as well.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Relationship Psychology

No relationship is perfect, but it is possible to make your partnership more enjoyable for each of you. After all, relationship psychology is all about finding ways to maintain a balance that stops one of both partners from becoming disillusioned with the union. If you've already broken up with your partner, then using similar relationship psychology principles can also help you to get your ex back.

Relationship psychology is about teaching each person inside the relationship how to recognize destructive or unhelpful patterns that could potentially be driving your partner away. The unfortunate part about most couples is that they often believe the other person will think the same way as they do. In truth, men and women have very different ways of communicating those things they need or want.

Women need to remember that men place more value on actions rather than words. This means a woman who constantly tries to get her partner to address problems in the relationship by talking about the issues or arguing about bad behavior is almost certain to see an increase in those negative patterns.

Instead of talking or arguing your way through an issue, try using a more psychological approach. Men respond more positively to your actions. They want to know that they are capable of making you happy. A man who is constantly faced with an upset partner will begin to think there's nothing he can do to make you happy, so he'll withdraw even further from you, even to the point of breaking up.

However, if he's faced with a happy, confident partner who is a pleasure to spend time with, he's less likely to withdraw. In fact, he'll likely draw even closer because he enjoys being around you. Men in this situation will often find themselves doing whatever they can to make sure you stay as happy as you were on those occasions. If you find it difficult to raise your self-confidence, then try giving yourself a mini-make over or spend some time doing something you enjoy. When you feel good within yourself, you're more likely to radiate that confidence outwardly as well.

Men need to remember that women value slightly different emotional triggers than they do. Women want to know that the man they love places enough value on her to really listen to what she's saying. If you feel your wife or girlfriend is pulling away from you, then sit down and just listen.

Ask questions about what your partner has just said and then take notice of her responses. If men can learn to listen attentively without allowing their mind to wander off, their girlfriends will begin to feel more loved, which leads them in turn to develop into a good mood, which makes them happy and enjoyable to send time with.

These primary differences in relationship psychology between men and women are simple things you can do to help strengthen your existing relationship, but they'll also work equally well if you're trying to get your ex back.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Do You Know How To Prevent A Long Term Relationship Breakup

All couples experience rough patches from time to time; which could lead to a breakup. Frankly, if you don't, you may find out your missing out on a really meaningful part of your relationship. It's not a question if you are, but when you are going to hit that rough patch in your relationship. The question you need to be asking yourself right now is "Before this happens, I need to know 'how to prevent a long term relationship breakup' from happening to us." The following tips may well help you avoid that heartwrenching breakup.

We can all take our partners for granted sometimes. Life often gets in the way of your relationship and we are inclined to think our spouse will understand. But that is not always the case. Your significant other may wonder where he/she comes on your list of priorities. He or she may feel neglected and if someone else comes along that pays them some attention and makes them feel desired, who is to say that they won’t be tempted.

Why not surprise your partner and arrange a date night. If you have children, arrange a babysitter. If money is a little tight, then put the kids to bed early and cook your partner a nice dinner. Add some candles and flowers and switch off the TV. Ban all talk about the kids, job, your money issues and of course talking about family members (or suffer the consequences).

The only conversation allowed is the type you would normally have on a date night. Imagine you don’t know each other. Ask your other half to tell you something about themselves, after which you will divulge a secret about yourself. Talk to your partner about their interest, passion and most of all listen to what they say.

When you have been together for a long time, it can get a little dull in the bedroom department. Being intimate is the glue that holds couples together. It isn't all together about having sex (a man would ask "It isn't?"), but holding hands, listening, talking, cuddling, affectionate, being there when needed and perhaps most all trusting one another.

If you have fallen into a rut where the only intimate occasions you see are those on a TV set, you need to sort this out. Don’t ignore it as it can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression and desperation on both sides. But you can't pressure the other person either. So why not make it a game.

Both of you have to make a list of all the nice things you would like to do/have done to each other; you should forget revenge and mayhem (really bad for saving a relationship). Each person gets a turn having one item on their list. She may want you to run her a nice, hot bath and allow her to soak for an hour; with only the candles for company. And guess what that can lead to for the man.

Rediscover the passion that brought you together in the first place. Let’s face it most couples do not get involved due to the fantastic conversation. There has to be the "X" factor as well. But when you have shared what seems to be a lifetime, the roaring flames of desire may now resemble a smouldering ember. However, the good news is, with work by you both, you can fan those "smoldering ember's into an all consuming fire of passion.

Couples that laugh together, share their inner most thoughts and feelings, make time for one another are the most likely to be walking hand in hand; sharing their twilight years. Life isn't a bed of roses, but it's a lot more fun when you share it with someone you love.

These are just a few of the things involved in "how to prevent a long term relationship breakup". Be sure you take the time to implement these things now and stop any further damage to your relationship.

How To Survive An Affair Relationships That Last

After an affair, relationships can be hard to mend. The most essential part of any relationship is trust, and if you've cheated this bond is broken. The good news is that it is possible for a relationship to come back from cheating. The bad news is that you are going to have to work for it.

The first thing you need to do is swear off affair relationships. This is not a guide on how to cheat on your partner. If you're going to continue to cheat, then these guidelines will not be of much help to you. If you're willing to do the work, then these tips will help you repair your relationship.

The first thing you to need to do is admit your affair. Relationships are built on trust, and you can't have trust when you're lying to the other person. Not telling them is lying, a lie of omission. You need to tell them if they don't know, even though it is going to hurt.

Aside from general honesty, which is always a virtue, there is a practical side to this as well. If they don't know, they will find out, and it's better that you take the bullet now rather than add to the pain when they do find out. If you try to keep it a secret, you're going to torpedo the relationship.

The next thing you need to do is to take the blame. You may feel that your partner did something to drive you to cheat. We also all have natural tendency to rationalize our behavior, to explain ourselves by coming up with an excuse. But the reality is that it is you that cheated, you that the affair. Relationships aren't built by blaming your partner for your mistakes. Take the blame and move on.

Then you need to apologize. What you're looking for here is a complete admission and a sincere apology. You need to make sure that they know that you are truly repentant and regret what you did. Don't try to explain, just let them know how you feel.

Once you've done that, you need to give them some space. They are going to react, they are going to be hurt, and you can't push them into forgiving you any faster than they are going to already. Be there for them, but make sure that you don't push. They will be ready when they are ready, and if you try to push the issue then you are only going to succeed in pushing them further away.

After an affair, relationships are going to be different. The best thing you can do is to look at it as if you are starting the relationship all over again. You're going to need to win back their trust, and this is a process that is going to take some time.

Fortunately, there are resources available to you to help you repair the relationship. It may be hard to admit to yourself that you need help, but using one of the systems can be the best relationship move you'll ever make.

How To Build Trust In A Relationship

Building trust in a relationship can be very difficult depending on the circumstances. If one partner had an affair, then it may take several years to build trust in a relationship. It can be done and marriages survive affairs but it will take time. The person who had the affair will need to apologise to his/her partner and then be prepared for that person to learn to trust them again.

But trust is something that needs to be built up in every partnership. After all you are going to share your life with this other person so you need to know that they share the same values as you do. If you are trying to build mutual reliance there are several ways of doing this:

1) Make sure your words and actions match. 

If you say you are going to be home at a certain time, then make sure you are or else phone in advance to explain why. It is the little gestures that define who we are.

2) Always tell the truth no matter how painful. 

Lies destroy every type of relationship from friendships through to marriage. Telling the truth isn't always the easy option but it is the safest. If your partner knows that you always tell the truth, they will trust you much quicker. If they hear you telling lies to others, even those that you dismiss as being small or white lies, they will have less belief in you.

3)Do not keep secrets when in a relationship. 

Now I don't mean that you have to tell your new boyfriend or girlfriend your deepest secrets but as soon as the relationship looks like it is becoming serious, it is a good time to make sure that any relevant history is out in the open.

4) You need to have faith in your partner before expecting them to return that trust. 

If you have to text them morning and night wondering where they are and who they are with, they are likely to think you have something to hide.

5) Don't be unrealistic. 

All relationships have issues even those that have been happily married for 50 years. You need to accept that being part of a couple means that you take the good times and the bad. If you bolt at the first sign of trouble, your partner is never likely to trust you.

6) Finally rely on yourself to do the right thing. 

You must first know yourself and trust in your ability to make the right choices before you can trust anyone else. You have to know what your own goals and aspirations are in life before you can share a meaningful existence with someone else. Somebody with a defined sense of values is more likely to trust another person as they will quickly recognise these similar values.

All good relationships are built on a number of factors so learn how to build trust in a relationship now to increase your chance of success.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Evaluating Your Relationship With Your Partner - Before You Take Your Relationship To The Next Level

It doesn't matter if you've been in a relationship for a while or if it's brand new, most people will reach a point where they are considering taking their relationship to the next level. The next level could mean anything from physical intimacy to a walk down the aisle. No matter what the next level is for you, now is the time to start evaluating your relationship with your partner.

While it may seem like this would be an easy thing to do it can actually be very difficult. There are a few reasons why achieving an honest evaluation can be a tough thing for people:

1) If you wait too long to honestly access the quality and strength of your relationship you may already be in too deep to be able to objectively analyze the weak points in your partner and your relationship.

Once you've fallen for that person you will see only what you want to see. Few people will still have the strength to honestly admit that there might be a problem. They will turn a blind eye and pretend that everything is great.

2) During the early days and most of the 'dating phase' of a relationship your partner, and you, can be very guarded and careful of what they let the other see. With some people it's a deliberate attempt to hide their true colors with other's it's a more innocent "putting the best foot forward" type of thing.

Either way this tendency can make an honest evaluation very difficult.

One of the most important things you can do to try to have a secure and fulfilling relationship is to honestly evaluate the strength of your partner and the relationship early on.

It's also important to take your time. Too many people ignore the warning signs because they just want to be with someoone so badly they are willing to be mis-treated just so they don't have to be alone.

If you really want a strong relationship make sure you are strong first. If you are happy with you and you have made a full life for yourself filled with people and activities that make you happy, then you won't be so desperate for a relationship that you allow yourself to be mis-treated.

Honestly evaluating your relationship with your partner is something everyone should do, but few actually do. The earlier you do it the easier it will be to see things clearly as they really are and not just as you want them to be. That is the difference between a happy and loving relationship and an unhappy and potentiallly abusive relationship.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Stages Of A Relationship Understanding Them Makes A Difference

You’re probably not thinking about the different stages of a relationship while you’re with someone. And especially if the relationship is new or restarting after a breakup, it’s not likely on your mind. But if you understand the different stages of a relationship it can help you understand where you are and what’s yet to come.

Of all the stages of a relationship, the first stage is probably the most exciting. This is the romance stage, the beginning. There’s dating and getting to know each other, and each of you is on your very best behavior because you want to woo the other person.

This stage is often called the honeymoon period, because everything is fresh and new. Everything the other person does probably seems wonderful. You laugh at his jokes, and don’t mind the person’s flaws. In fact, you may even find his flaws endearing. Just like anything new, it can be a great deal of fun and seem adventurous.

The next two stages are the make or break stages that many couples never make it through. They account for things like very short relationships and marriages. The second stage is commonly known as the power struggle stage.

This is when the newness starts to wear off, and usually starts somewhere between six months to a year after the relationships starts. It’s during this time that things start to get serious. Everything isn’t as cute and endearing as it was in the beginning.

Each person in the relationship is trying to get his or her needs met, and they’re starting to notice where the other person falls short in doing that. If you’re in this stage, take a step back. The things you’re finding fault with in the other person are probably flaws that you have also.

If a couple can get through this stage, the relationship has a much better chance of lasting. Unfortunately, many couples try to change each other in the second stage. This leads to break-ups. Honest communication is the key to getting past it. Be understanding, and realize that you have shortcomings, too.

The third of the stages of a relationship is where you realize that you can’t change the other person, and you stop trying. If you came to that realization by talking with your partner and being understanding, then congratulations are in order!

This stage for you will be one of learning to be content with what the other has to offer and learning to take care of yourself. If the power struggle ended badly, then this is the stage where you’re likely to end the relationship.

The next stage is that of commitment. You realized you couldn’t change each other but you still made it work, and you know you want to be together. Now you can move on to a true partnership, which is the last stage.

Many couples bounce from stage 2 to 3 several times before moving on to commitment. By understanding the stages of a relationship, you’re at least aware of what’s happening and why.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Relationship Questions You Need To Ask

If you want to fix your relationship, then you need to ask the right question. Relationship repair can be tricky in the best of times, which is why you need to know the right questions, relationship questions, to get the information you need to repair what has been broken.

This is not necessarily an easy thing to do. Most of us won't want to ask these questions, relationship problems or not. This is because the natural human reaction to things is to try and avoid the problem as much as possible.

But relationship problems will not fix themselves. You need to make the effort to fix them, not wait for your ex to magically come around. You are the one who has realized there is a problem, and this means that you have to be the one to do the work to fix it. Whether you like it or not, it's become your responsibility.

Which brings us to the questions. Relationship questions are not easy to ask, but the answers will be worthwhile. This is the information you need to do the work that will bring you back to having a healthy relationship with your girlfriend or boyfriend, husband or wife.

Question One: What Do You Want?

This is a question you need to ask yourself and your significant other. You need to ask yourself because you need to be able to know and articulate what it is you want from your relationship. You need to ask them so that you know that the things you want from the relationship are, if not the same, then at least compatible.

Question Two: What Were Our Best Times?

This is another question designed to get you looking at how the two of you view your relationship. If you both view different times in your relationship as the best times, this will give you a very strong indication of where things went wrong, which is the point of these questions. Relationship is based on knowing what these questions will tell you.

Question Three: What Don't You Like?

Again, this is a question both of you need to ask. This is an area where it is crucial that you don't assign blame or allow your emotions to be hurt. You need to take a full inventory of where you stand and knowing what it bothering both of you is essential.

Question Four: Where are we Heading?

The point of this is question is to see where you both think the relationship should and where it will go. Without knowing this, you won't know how bad the relationship is. If your partner thinks that the relationship is doomed to failure, this is information you need to know.

The point of doing all this is to find the true answers to these questions. Relationship rescue will be much easier when you have this information, because it will give a roadmap of the problems you need to resolve to have a stronger relationship. This is only the beginning, and you should seek out and find the information that will allow you to overcome these problems.