Sadly, there are times when what
appeared to be a happy union must come to a conclusion. But ending a
relationship gracefully can be a difficult undertaking. There are a
lot of ways that a break up can go wrong, but that doesn't have to be
the case. Here are some tips to help you part ways in a civil manner.
Before you even think about mentioning
your desire to call it quits, you have to be 100% sure it's what you
want to do, and know why you want to do it. This is important,
because once you mention the subject of splitting up, there is no
logical way to unmention it.
Key #1:
Tell the truth - You may feel that you
don't your partner anything, but as a fellow human being, they
deserve the truth. If you are ending the relationship because you
have done something wrong, now is the time to say so. While telling a
few lies may make breaking up seem easier, in the long run it will
always come back to haunt you.
Key #2:
Be calm, respectful and direct - If
there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that emotions will be
running high as soon as you broach the subject. Keep in mind that the
proverbial ball is in your court. This means it is up to you to set
the tone. Remain calm, respectful and direct to make things go more
smoothly, but...
Key #3:
Expect the unexpected - You may picture
your significant other getting mad and burning up all of your clothes
on the front lawn, or you may envision them sitting motionless,
stone-faced and distant. Whatever you imagine, I can guarantee one
thing, it will not go the way you think it will. That's why it is so
important to know your plan and stick to it.
Key #4:
Watch out for manipulation - There is
always a chance that your soon-to-be ex will do everything they can
to get you to stay. Being manipulated into sticking around will only
breed resentment. On the other hand, they may raise an honest point
you may not have previously considered. Just be extra careful when
trying to determine what's really going on. To be fair, be sure you
aren't the one doing the manipulating.
Key #5:
No living in the past - This key is
last because it's the most difficult. While you'll want to explain
why you want to break up, don't bring up past faults that will lead
to an argument. You both already know what you don't like about each
other, no need to bring it up now. If you absolutely must bring it up
to explain why you're leaving, do your best to stick to the facts of
the behavior and not to personal attacks.
Ending a relationship gracefully is
never an easy task. Adding insult to injury is never classy. It takes
planning and careful implementation to end it gracefully, but it's
the best way to handle things - for all parties involved.
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