Relationship Counseling - You both have to Want to GO

It is not always easy to be together with someone you care about. Even if you started off on the right food, expecting to be happy for the rest of your lives, there often is a time to take a reality check as life catches up with you. This is when things do not seem so ideal anymore. Do not feel alone, many couples experience this. Many need relationship counseling and it is best to do it sooner than later. Before you make the decision to go for relationship counseling, here are a few things to keep in ming.

1. A counselor is not a miracle worker.

They can't just wave a magic wand and make your relationship perfect. What they can do is listen to each of you (separately and together), and offer suggestions based on what you have told them.

The purpose of visiting a counselor is not to win some imaginary contest, nor is it to prove you are right and that your partner is wrong. If that's your attitude, then you can be sure that changing that attitude is one of the first things the counselor is going to try to do. In some ways--depending how bad things are--the counselor's role is to tear down all of the nasty walls you have put up, and then rebuild on a more harmonious foundation.

2. One thing you should watch out for is more arguing.

What? Yes, that's right, a lot of couples find that they argue more after their first few sessions of relationship counseling. That's because they are learning new ways to communicate, and this change can bring stress of its own. Don't worry, though, if you stick with the counseling you will get past this and start to get along better and better.

Just having somebody to listen to your side of things can be quite therapeutic. Maybe you feel like your partner doesn't get what you're trying to say, or maybe you feel like they ignore you completely. Either way, having an objective party lending an ear can be a great way to work through things.

3. But why use a counselor at all, can't you get a lot of the same information from self-help books?

You sure can. Let me ask you this: have you tried any of those books, and if so, how are they working for you? If they're not working, that's okay, it's not your fault. See, the author can only pass along what they know, but they don't know you personally. Their advice may be wonderful...for somebody else, but it just doesn't work for you. A counselor can listen to your specific problems and then craft solutions that will work best for your specific situation.

As with all things in life there is a catch here. If you do not do something, nothing will happen! You may say to me “but that is common sense” thing is, many couples go to relationship counseling and then they do not follow through with the advice from the qualified counselor. If you do not follow the advice nothing will happen. Both of you have to be willing to go all our. If you do that there is a good chance that you will succeed.

Go to The Magic Of Making Up for more excellent advice.