Relationship Psychology Basics

Relationship are not always fun all the time. It may be that they go great, and them again they can maddeningly difficult. What is even worse, it can be very difficult to spot the causes for the good as well as the bad times. This makes it impossible to predict, with any certainty, what is going to happen in a relationship. This is the only explanation for the many instances we see of couples madly in love the one moment and the next you hear, they are having a divorce!

What it all comes down to is psychology. Does that mean a psychologist can save any relationship? Not necessarily, but there are some interesting things to consider. Perhaps having some simple insights into what people are thinking will help keep your current relationship that much stronger.

The National Institute of Mental Health paid for a study that the majority of young couples (18 to 21 years of age) avoided being overly intimate--in the deepest sense of the word--with one another and tried to remain as independent as possible. At the same time, there was strong evidence that they were worried about abandonment and rejection. However, those with higher self-esteem didn't worry as much.

Generally speaking, older couples do not show as strong of a tendency for this type of behavior. This is most likely because they have more life experience and that they do not tie their sense of worth to what somebody else thinks of them. To put it another way, they don't worry as much about breaking up. The interesting thing is that this attitude actually makes it less likely that they will break up. That's not to say that break ups only happen to young couples. They can happen at any age.

There have also been differences recorded between men and women. For example, women tend to try to steer a conversation, while men tend to react to conversations as they happen. It's easy to see how this can lead to a source of conflict. Different styles of communication means that what you mean to say often isn't the way it is heard. However, once you understand these differences are there, you can take that into account whenever you are talking to each other.

These are only a few basic observations on the psychology of relationships, but there are many more. While it can be fascinating to explore the differences between how men and women think, this alone isn't always enough to keep a relationship humming along nicely. What it really takes is work and commitment.

Keep the following in mind when it feels as if your relationship is not going all that well any more. This is a good place to start. Keep in mind that seeing a marriage counselor may not be an altogether bad idea. A psychologist knows relationships and has a good grip on the psychology of relationships. A psychologist will take the time and get to know you and will therefore be able to show you how to apply that psychology and be a happier couple.