Advice Relationships - Tips And Advice On Relationships

There is a plethora of advice on relationships, but some notable ones can be

found right here. It is important to know some common mistakes couples make during a relationship, some community resources you can go to for some extra help, the benefits of family support, and how to talk to each other more effectively.

1. One common mistake in a relationship is when either you or your partner let your temper get out of control.

This is especially bad if children are present because the little ones are looking to you two as role models on how to behave. Another mistake is not talking or communicating with each other enough. Communication is very important and without it, a relationship can drift farther apart.

Having an argument late at night is a no-no in a relationship. Never go to bed angry with each other. This is one of the best advice on relationships because this is what makes them last. Lack of romance is a big mistake as well. If either one or both of you are not very romantic, make it a point to improve in that area. Ask your partner what his or her fantasy is, and then surprise them with it one day. 

2. Sometimes a great relationship involves getting the advice of other trusted people.

Some great community resources can help you avoid and get through problems. Have a marriage counselor from your church or community center available a phone call away. Also have a financial counselor available too. Money issues tend to be a major factor in the health of a relationship, and if you both nip that in the bud quickly, then there will be a lot less to worry about. 

3. Family support is vitally important, even if they live far away.

Strive to be courteous to your partner's family, and expect for your partner to be courteous to yours. This is a good minimum standard for both of you to have for each other, because when the time comes that both of you need some support, they should be there for you at least to the extent you were there for them. 

4. Talking to each other more effectively is important advice for relationships as well.

Know how your partner talks, and more importantly how he or she listens. If you say something and your partner reads or interprets it a certain way, talk about that interpretation. Find out why they interpreted it that way because you just may need to change the way you say things or they may need to change the way they hear it. 

This advice on relationships just scratches the surface for what both of you need to do in order to keep a thriving bond with each other.

A Divorce- Christians Also Go Through It

Divorce is something that thousands of people face every day. This also includes Christians. The debate in the Christian community over divorce is strong and diverse. Many believe divorce is unacceptable as stated by the Lord. However many others believe it is acceptable under certain circumstances. 

In a divorce Christian faith can be tested and it can be hard to know what to belief with so many conflicting statements. However Christianity is all about faith, and more contemporary Christians acknowledge that reality does not quite go according to God's plan. We, as Christian are the cause for that as we so often go into marriage without seeking God's advice.

It is our duty as God's people to try our best to live our lives as God would want.

1. God gave us a free will

Humans have free will and part of having free will is making mistakes and adapting over time. If God did not want us to evolve he would not have given us the ability to do so. Even though God gave us free will out of love does not mean we should not seek His advice.

2. Whether you simply grew apart or because a betrayal was committed

Whether you simply grew apart or because a betrayal was committed in your marriage, a divorce might often prove to be the best option. A divorce Christian will suffer a harder time during a divorce then others. Not only must they contend with all the problems of a divorce, but also the test on their faith as they know they are going against God's plan.

3. God for gives our sins

However we must remind ourselves that God is all knowing, and forgiving of our sins. While He may not like divorces, we know that he will understand and forgive if we confess our sin as part of the marriage going wrong. As much as God may be against divorces, He will understand that you cannot stay in an abusive relationship. 

Some Christians like to follow the Bible to the letter, and use it as a shield and sword in the fight over whether or not a divorce is acceptable. 

As we progress and learn more about ourselves and the universe God put us in, we also become more open to new ideas and realizations. And one such realization is that God does not want us to suffer needlessly, and as such He will forgive us for not remaining in a relationship where we are unhappy and where even the children suffer because of the unhappy marriage.

If you believe God wants you to remain then by all means, stay and fix your relationship. It all comes down to personal faith.

The Seven Most Important Tips To Rescue Your Relationship

A relationship is something you have to nurture. Sometimes all of us make the mistake of taking our partner for granted or our partner starts taking us for

granted. Now we are in trouble, our relationship is heading for disaster. If you are there and you are in dire need of some tips to rescue your relationship, I have the top seven most important ones for you.

1. Stop arguing:

You have to give yourself time to calm down and to stop arguing. If you are upset and emotional you will not be able to take the steps you need to take to rescue your relationship.

2. Stop accusing your partner:

This is also very important. Maybe it is part of the “stop arguing” but as it is so important I make it a separate point. As long as you keep accusing your partner of whatever, you will not be able to rescue your relationship! Please, just bite your tongue, if you have to. If you want to save it, you have to stop!

3. Try and observe what is really going on:

Try and really get behind everything that is going on. What are the real reasons you are having problems. Sometimes the things we argue about are not the real problem. The arguing is often only a symptom of something deeper that is wrong. By staying calm and really observing what is happening, you may just find out what it is. Take special note of what it may be that you are doing. Sometimes we are the real problem without really knowing it.

4. Start with yourself:

This is very important. First of all you have to start correcting all the things you are responsible for. If your work schedule is the reason you are drifting apart, you have to try and come up with a solutions that will give you more time together. If you are neglecting your partner because you are spending too much time with your friends, try and come up with a plan how you can spend time with your friends, but still spend more time with your partner.

Make a plan, whatever it is you can do, do it first before you expect your partner to do anything. You have to show your partner that you are committed to it and are willing to make sacrifices to rescue your relationship.

5. Show your love:

The next step is to show your love without smothering your partner. Do the little things you know your partner loves. Make your partner feel special all over again. What is it that drew you together in the first place? How did you behave? What were the little things you used to do to make your partner feel special? Things like that. Rekindle the loving care there used to be.

6. Make as many opportunities as possible for the two of you to do things together that you both love:

Spending time with each other, doing the things you love, is the best way to start the process to rescue your relationship! Having fun together will put you both in a good mood. It will also show you once again why you are a couple in the first place, what the magic between the two of you were all about. This is a very important part of saving it, get the fun back.

7. Now you can discuss the problems:

Only once you are calm and you and your partner are able to spend some fun time together again can you discuss the problems with your partner. This is where you have to come up with the plans that will prevent you from going off the rails again. Make plans to take specific measures that will help. Be realistic! Do not expect too much from your partner. Keep the realities of life in mind and work around it. It is important not to try and accomplish the impossible, it will not work and then you are back at square one!

For More Help Have A Look At Relationship Rescue Workbook, The: Exercises and Self-Tests to Help You Reconnect with Your Partner Click on the link to go to Amazon now to have a look at what others say about it.

Best Way Reuniting After A Breakup - Is There Such A Thing

Many of us Getting  dumped is something most of us experience and we're really not ready for the relationship to be over. In some cases we are the ones who do the dumping only to have regrets after a little time has passed. Whatever the situation is, here is the best way reuniting after a breakup. 

I know some of this information can seem counter intuitive, but this method has helped thousands, maybe more, of couples reunite and after all,  you don't have anything to lose at this point, do you?

So, I'll break it down in more detail and give you a step by step breakdown of just what you need to do:

1. First of all, make sure you really want to get back with your ex. Sometimes we lose sight of whether or not we really should stay in the relationship. We might feel lonely or sometimes our ego can get in the way. But make sure that the relationship is something that you should really continue with. 

2. Second of all, make sure you allow your ex some time and space away from you. This is the part that will seem counter intuitive, but think about it like this; if you are still in your exes life because you are sending them texts or calling them all the time, you are still in there life. 

How can they miss you and regret the decision to break up with you if you're still around? They can't. You will start to seem like a nuisance at best or a pathetic stalker at worst. Neither one of those things will make you seem irresistible to your ex. 
 
Back off and give them time to miss you and time to breathe.

3. Fix you so when you and your ex do get back together you won't just make all the same mistakes all over again. I don't know who was most at fault for the breakup, but I do know that no one is perfect and there are always some things you can improve on. Why not start now?

The worst that can happen is that you are a better person for your next relationship. 

4. Once you've completed steps one and two (and several weeks, at least, should have gone by now) contact your ex. Don't sound desperate or confrontational, just be causal and friendly and try to get together with them. By now they have missed you and if you don't make it sound like you want to badger them, they will most likely be curious about what you are up to. 

During this get together, keep it easy and friendly. Laugh and joke and don't talk about getting back together. Just have fun and remind them of the good times you two used to share. 

At this point it's very likely that your ex will ask you to get back together, at least it's a start in the right direction. Following these steps is the best way reuniting after a breakup, if you follow them.

Bad Relationships-What Defines A Great Relationship

What constitutes bad relationships? Well, to a large degree, only you can answer that. The sad thing is that many people will lie to them self and pretend that they are actually in a good, solid, loving relationship when they know, and all their friends and family know, that they are in an unstable, toxic relationship.

And, a toxic relationship doesn't just happen in romantic relationships either. An unhealthy relationship can happen in any and all types of human interaction. It can be a friendship, a work relationship or a family relationship, it can and does happen.

A lot of times when people think of bad relationships they think big. They think of some sort of physical, mental, emotional or sexual abuse. And, of course, any type of abuse would definitely be bad and a relationship that should not continue, but there are other, less obvious signs of a toxic relationship.

For one thing, there are some types of abuse that kind of fly "under the radar". They may not even be recognized as abuse. Here is what I mean: have you ever associated with someone who seemed to take great delight in ridiculing you and making you feel foolish? of course, they were only "joking" and you really should not be so "sensitive". When someone does that to you, it really is them not you. No one should make you feel bad about yourself on purpose. That is abuse.

In some ways the over the top abuse, such as physical, is not better (please don't take this the wrong way. Abuse is bad, period, I'm just trying to illustrate a point here) but it is certainly easier to recognize. Sometimes the more "subtle" types of abuse can sneak up on you. You may not even really notice them until you are deeply involved with someone and it is harder to break things off. 

As a matter of fact, that is a very common method for many abusers. They come on strong, compliment you and make you feel loved and secure and then they will slowly start showing their true colors. They will suddenly stop complimenting and start ridiculing. That can really take someone off guard if they have become used to hearing loving words. All of a sudden they are hearing mean and spiteful things coming out of their partners mouth and it can lead them to try and figure out "what they did wrong".

At that point, the abuser has you right where they want you: off balance and willing to do pretty much anything they say in order to "bring their love back". This is the point where you must get out of the relationship as quickly as possible before you get in deeper. At this point you see your partner for what they really are, it won't change and it will never go back to the way it was before. That was not real, this is real.

They were only putting on a good front to suck you in, they really don't love you and never will. They will never really be able to give you the love, respect and affection that they were showing you (they were faking) in the beginning or that you really deserve. Get out before it gets worse.

Another common ploy is to try to distance you from family and friends. Once they have you off balance and alone the abuse can start in full force. That is a very dangerous time for any abuse victim and definitely the definition of bad relationships.

Get Someone Back Takes Time - Getting Back Together After A Long Time - With The One That Got Away

Get Someone Back Takes Time
For those who want to get someone back that they were in a relationship with it does not need to be the end of he world.  Often, things can be patched up, as long as it is done in the right manner and with the right intent.  Going about it the wrong way will only result in driving them farther away.

The first thing to do is to give her back her space.  This is crucial, but vitally important.  She needs time to be alone.  Most men will worry that during this separation of contact there will be another man to slide into his place.  If the relationship is salvageable then this won’t be the case.  She just needs time to sort things out and having someone hover over her every move will only complicate matters.

Also during this time is when the man needs to reassess the relationship.  This means to get on with your life.  It does not mean to go after every woman that you come in contact with, but it is fine to start talking to them and continuing friendships.  This might actually work to your advantage.

The woman needs to see that she should get back with you so this will probably send her the message that your life has not become irreparably crippled since she left.  Not only is this the right message for her but also it shows her that you are a strong man, which is what women want.

It is also a good idea during this transition period that a man continues to keep up his appearance.  It is important to dress in the same manner that he would if his girlfriend were still around.  Nothing flashy, and nothing sloppy- just ordinary.  Either she will see him out in public or one of her friends will get word back to her.  If it is a friend the first thing she will ask is “how did he look?”  She will want to know how the breakup is affecting him.  When she finds out he has gone on with his life, seemingly unscathed, it will cause her to take another look at what happened.

If a man is going to get someone back it needs to be for the right reasons.  The reconciliation should be based on the fact that he feels that she is a good match.  If there is hesitation in these thoughts then perhaps he needs to re-evaluate the relationship again.

Getting Back Together After A Long Time - With The One That Got Away

Few things in life are as heady, or as frightening,  as the prospect of getting back the 'one that got away'.  More than likely you've spent more than a little time wondering what things would have been like if the two of you had gotten together, or stayed together, all that time ago.  Getting back together after a long time isn't as impossible as it may seem, you may even be pleasantly surprised to find out your ex feels the same way too.

 There are no guarantees, and of course, you will have a slightly more challenging time if you and your ex have a history and issues that the two of you have to work through.  Things may actually be a little easier if this person is someone who you had feelings for but for one reason or another you never acted on those feelings, at least this way the two of you don't have a lot of emotional baggage to deal with. 

You don't have to be nervous that they will reject you, as a matter of fact you don't need to let them know the true depth of your feelings at all at this point. Simply contact them. Keep things casual and let them know you were thinking about them and you were wondering if they'd like to get together to 'catch up'.  Maybe you've recently moved closer to them, or you've just found some old pictures that reminded you of them, whatever the reason, you can keep things very casual at this point.

When the two of you meet, you'll be able to find out what their situation is, are they single?  And if they are available, you'll be able to see from the way they act towards you if the feelings of love are mutual.

If, after the first meeting, you have established that you are both available and you both have an interest in reconnecting the next steps will depend on your previous experiences.  If the two of you never got together in the past, just take your time and get reacquainted with each other, this time in a romantic way. 

If the two of you have had a past relationship and now you've both decided you want to try again, it may be wise for the two of you to have 'the talk'.  No, I don't mean about sex, I mean about the problems you had in your relationship the first time around.  This talk doesn't have to happen on the first few dates, but if there does seem to be a spark you both have to be careful that you don't repeat the mistakes of the past and cause yourself, and each other, more pain.

It's important that the two of you are mature and honest enough to figure out what went wrong and what steps you will be wiling to take to make things better this time.  It's also important that the two of you are honest about whether or not you can really have a relationship without letting all the hurts and resentments from your first relationship get in the way.

Sometimes we all need a second chance, we sometimes give up on someone too soon or are afraid to give it a try in the first place.  The good news is that with a little luck and a lot of love  getting back together after a long time is possible and you may both just find that it's so much better the second time around!

Warning Signs - Emotional Affair - Spot Them Qucikly

If you are worried about your spouse and fear that you see some warning signs emotional affair than there are a few things that you can be on the lookout for. Just remember that it's very easy to let your imagination run away with you. You have to be careful to not see things that aren't really there.

Many of the tips I'm about to give you can be signs of an affair but they can also be innocent and may not mean a thing. Just don't risk making things worse by assuming something that may not be the case. If something seems wrong don't accuse your spouse, instead open a dialog with them and ask them about your concerns.

In some ways emotional affairs can be the most damaging. It may actually be a little easier to forgive a physical indiscretion since it didn't mean anything anyway, but an emotional connection with another person is particularly upsetting and hard to get over.

Here are a few possible indicators that something is going on:

Your spouse suddenly starts working out or has a sudden interest in wearing new and nicer clothes. Again, this might be totally innocent but if it seems like it is coming out of the blue than it may be a sign of trouble.

1. If your spouse seems to be spending a lot more time at work than normal. A lot of sudden overtime may be a sign that something is going on. Keep your eyes open and don't accuse, but it can't hurt to talk.
2. If your spouse suddenly starts talking about a co worker a lot. If all of a sudden you are hearing your spouse talk about the same person and there is a lot of affection in their tone, it may be a sign of an emotional affair. Sometimes an emotional affair can sneak up on people. Even if your spouse is starting to have feelings for someone, they may not realize just what is going on yet; all the more reason to not jump down their throats.
3. If your spouse is suddenly very private about their phone conversations and computer habits, it is a strong indicator that they are doing something they don't want you to know about. You need to find out what that "something" is (or who it is).
   

It's all too easy to slowly have an attraction grow between two people who spend a lot of time together and have a lot in common. That's why work place affairs happen so often. But before you run off and accuse your spouse of something that you think they have done, you had better be sure or you can really make a mess of your marriage.

Looking for warning signs emotional affair? If you are at that point it's very likely that something has happened to make you suspicious. You know the saying "where there's smoke there's fire" so assuming that you aren't just overly paranoid and jealous, by the time you start to get suspicious it's likely that there is something happening.

But before you run off and accuse your spouse of something that you think they have done, you had better be sure or you can really make a mess of your marriage.



Emotional Infidelity-Another Way You Can Cheat



Emotional infidelity may sound like a strange concept but it is real. We are raised to believe that cheating is when you have sexual relations with another person outside of your relationship, but that is not the only way you can cheat.

There is also an emotional affair. An emotional affair is when you share your intimate feelings with someone other then your partner. Do not mistake this for simply having friends or the way you love your kids, it is something entirely different.

Essentially the feelings you have for your partner are what create the emotional backbone for a relationship. But what happens when you have similar feelings for someone else? This is emotional infidelity and it can be just as harmful as a physical affair.

When someone is in a relationship they like to believe that they are the center of their partners universe. They want to believe they are special and that the love for them is not something that can just be passed around.

That is what makes sexual affairs so harmful, it is not just the fact that you were physically intimate with another person. It is that you were emotionally intimate as well. Physical relations are something you share with someone you deeply care about, so to do so with another shows you care for them and this can really hurt your partner.

That is why an emotional affair often leads to a physical one. But even if it never progresses to that level it can still hurt. Nobody wants to feel like they are replaceable or something to be discarded once used.

An emotional affair can start innocent enough. It can be something as simple as getting a good impression from someone and developing that relationship further. The breaking point from when it stops being a normal relationship to something more intimate is when you let your guard down and ignore the boundaries we often set for ourselves.

There are lines that separate people, we place them into different categories. There are friends, family, lovers all of whom you care deeply for but in different ways. The emotional infidelity comes in when you blur the lines between groups. When you start caring for someone as more then just a friend and more as a lover.

It is important to stay within the lines and not to carelessly hand out your love. One of the best ways to determine if you may have crossed the line is to ask yourself a simple question. Do you confide in someone more then your partner?

It is not a clear cut question since there are some secrets you do not want your partner to know. But generally if you share everything with someone other then your partner, this could be a problem. Trust is fundamental for a relationship and if you trust someone more then your partner, it might lead to further problems down the road.

An emotional affair is a tricky business and it is not as clear cut as a physical affair. You just need to try your best not to mix your feelings and ensure that a friend just remains a friend.

Emotional Infidelity - Is It Trouble In The Making



We don't live in a bubble. We spend time out in the world with other people and sometimes we make a connection with those other people. This is great, and a wonderful part of life. But it can become emotional infidelity when you are being more intimate with this new person than you are with your partner, even if it isn't sexual.  It may be hard to draw the line sometimes but if you find that you are thinking of another person a lot, and not just in a casual way, it may be that you need to assess your own relationship.

It's very common that this type of emotional affair will eventually lead to a sexual relationship. That's one of the main reasons it needs to be nipped in the bud right away. There is no reason to beat yourself up about it just because you happened to meet someone and found that the two of you had an amazing attraction. What you do need to do, however, is to recognize that any type of infidelity is wrong and you need to put a stop to it before it goes any further.

The longer you allow yourself to spend time with this other person, the stronger the attraction will become and the harder it will be to resist temptation, or break things off. If you are sharing things with this new person about your relationship with your spouse, you've crossed a line. It's one thing to confide some things to your friends, but not someone you are attracted to.  Doing so will only create bigger problems for you and create an 'unnatural' bond with the new person.

Your spouse is the person you should be sharing these issues with, not someone who you are having feelings for. That is a breach of the trust you and your partner share.  By letting this other person in, more and more every time the two of you talk, you are distancing yourself from your partner.  If you do that for too long, your main relationship will completely fall apart. And even though you may think that's what you want so you can have the new person, it rarely works out quite so neatly. 

It's unbelievably easy to make more out of the time you spend with your new friend. After all, the two of you don't bicker, you don't have any issues with money or how to deal with the kids, etc. The day to day things that can drag us all down aren't shared by the two of you so of course things may seem wonderful. Just remember, they felt that way at first with your spouse too.  It's inevitable. But don't confuse that with having found your soul mate. Your soul mate is more than likely the person waiting for you at home.

Emotional infidelity is very often the first step to a full fledged affair. It's very easy to have a connection with someone else, but when that connection seems to take on a life of it's own, you need to pull back before things get so far out of hand that you can't salvage the situation.